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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

‘Total Intelligence Dominance’ or Just Another Day in the Middle East, According to Brett McGuirk (and CNN)
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Total Intelligence Dominance’ or Just Another Day in the Middle East, According to Brett McGuirk (and CNN)

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Oh, CNN, always pushing the liberal agenda! Brett McGuirk, probably a deep-state operative, praising Israel’s strikes on Iran? Sounds like…

Kilmar Abrego Garcia Claims Innocence, Probably Just Helping People Move, Right Guys
Elephant Reads CNN

Kilmar Abrego Garcia Claims Innocence, Probably Just Helping People Move, Right Guys

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Another day, another illegal alien thumbing his nose at our laws! Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a Salvadoran who should have NEVER…

People Suddenly Decide They Don’t Hate Everything, Economy Still Doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

People Suddenly Decide They Don’t Hate Everything, Economy Still Doomed

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to downplay the Trump economic miracle! Apparently, consumer sentiment is…

Trump’s “Are You Even American?” Voting Order Gets Epicly Blocked by Judge
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Are You Even American?” Voting Order Gets Epicly Blocked by Judge

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Another day, another Obama-appointed judge (quelle surprise!) kneecapping President Trump’s efforts to MAGA. This time, Judge Denise Casper—probably a secret…

CNN discovers a spa, pretends it’s news
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN discovers a spa, pretends it’s news

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Oh, CNN, always pushing the globalist agenda, aren’t they? “The Spa in the Land of the Healers”? Sounds like a…

Florida Sheriff Threatens to Send Protesters to the Shadow Realm, No Cap
Elephant Reads CNN

Florida Sheriff Threatens to Send Protesters to the Shadow Realm, No Cap

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

More like temper tantrums than protests! These snowflakes can’t handle a secure border. Attorney General Uthmeier is right; time for…

Stephen King’s ‘The Life of Chuck’: Yet Another Reason to Fear the Dark (and Theaters)
Elephant Reads CNN

Stephen King’s ‘The Life of Chuck’: Yet Another Reason to Fear the Dark (and Theaters)

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, great, another Stephen King movie. Probably filled with woke garbage and socialist propaganda. Mark Hamill? That guy hates Trump!…

Sen. Moreno’s Epic Clapback After Sen. Padilla Gets Kicked Out of DHS Bash: A Tragedy in 5 Acts (Starring Questionable Security Choices)
Elephant Reads CNN

Sen. Moreno’s Epic Clapback After Sen. Padilla Gets Kicked Out of DHS Bash: A Tragedy in 5 Acts (Starring Questionable Security Choices)

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 12, 2025

Another day, another snowflake meltdown! Rand Paul, a true patriot, got uninvited to Biden’s pity party, I mean, picnic. Probably…

Los Angeles Protests: Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter
Elephant Reads CNN

Los Angeles Protests: Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 12, 2025

Another week, another excuse for CNN to push their open-border agenda! “Immigration protests” – more like a coordinated invasion, funded…

Israel’s “Totally Unsurprising” Opening Strikes: Military Bigwigs and Nuclear Nerds Edition
Elephant Reads CNN

Israel’s “Totally Unsurprising” Opening Strikes: Military Bigwigs and Nuclear Nerds Edition

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 12, 2025

Israel finally did what Trump should have done years ago! Looks like someone finally decided to take out the Iranian…

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