Even Better Film Adaptation Of Lord of the Rings Will Just Be An Old British Guy Reading The Books Out Loud For 56 Hours
HOLLYWOOD, CA — While Peter Jackson’s stirring movies have become one of the most popular film adaptations of any book…
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📉 How a Love Gone Wrong Sabotaged Taylor Swift’s Billboard Glory! 💔
It was a dark day for Taylor Swift’s army of loyal fans – known worldwide as Swifties – when Billboard…
‘I Sure Love Pumpkin Pie,’ Says Man Spraying Gallon Of Reddi-Whip Over Pumpkin Pie
TOLEDO, OH — Local man Jacob Nicholson repeatedly declared his love for pumpkin pie today while covering a 12-inch pie…
Hungover Kamala Harris Gets Sinking Feeling While Checking If She Drunk-Posted Anything Yesterday
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Nursing a vicious hangover, Vice President Kamala Harris began to get a sinking feeling as she pulled…
FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In a memo that stated they couldn’t even smell the stuff without gagging, officials at the Food and…
Kamala Officially Unburdened By Sobriety
U.S. — Vice President Kamala Harris released a video to let followers know that with the Presidential race over, she…
Manifest Dunce-ity
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Manifest Dunce-ity appeared first on The Onion.
Jack Smith Drops Election Interference Case Against Trump
Read MoreThe OnionSpecial Counsel Jack Smith requested that all federal charges be dropped against President-elect Trump over his alleged efforts…
9 Things Public Schools Won’t Tell You About The First Thanksgiving
It’s Thanksgiving week, which brings back memories of what you learned in school about the first Thanksgiving, where pilgrim settlers…
12-Year-Old Jesus Amazes Temple Teachers By Completing Cracker Barrel Peg Game On First Try
JERUSALEM — The temple scribes and teachers were left in dumbfounded awe as a young boy from Nazareth named Jesus…