…And Justice for All Terminator Fans 🤖
The Fastest Way to Expose a Fake Metal Fan Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world…
Day: June 11, 2026
World Cup Stadium Empty As European Tourists All Just Hanging Out At Buc-ee’s
U.S. — As the first World Cup matches were set to get underway this week, the stadiums were completely…
Poll: Fewer Americans Say Democracy Central To U.S. Identity
A recent poll found that only 66% of Americans claim that a democratically elected government is important to the…
Elon Musk Confirms He Will Soon Have Enough Money To Become Batman
AUSTIN, TX — As the richest man in the world approaches a net worth of $1 trillion, Musk confirmed…
EMTs To Be Stationed Near Spurs Bench Next Game To Prevent Choking
SAN ANTONIO, TX — For the health and safety of the team’s players, the San Antonio Spurs will be…
Xbox to Finally Release Console That Will Definitely Not Catch on Fire and Only Occasionally Freeze in 2027 Maybe Possibly Hopefully
Big News, Folks! 🚨 XBOX is Having a Major Meltdown 🤯 and We Can’t Look Away 🍿. It seems like…
The Elder Scrolls 6 Is Definitely Not Vaporware and Will Totally Be Released Before the Heat Death of the Universe According to XBOX CCO Matt Booty Who Definitely Isn’t Just Trying to Get You to Buy an XBOX
It’s finally been eight whole years since XBOX announced The Elder Scrolls 6 at E3 2018, and we’ve got a…
Bill Gates Brought Before Congress To Answer For Epstein, Windows Vista
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Microsoft founder and former CEO Bill Gates was brought before the United States Congress this week…
Nancy Mace Introduces Bill To Separate Gubernatorial Races By Gender
The post Nancy Mace Introduces Bill To Separate Gubernatorial Races By Gender appeared first on The Onion. The post…
Least Popular Sport In The World Holds Little Tournament
U.S. — The least popular sport in the world is hosting a tiny little tournament for the few people…