Hungover Kamala Harris Gets Sinking Feeling While Checking If She Drunk-Posted Anything Yesterday
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Nursing a vicious hangover, Vice President Kamala Harris began to get a sinking feeling as she pulled…
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FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In a memo that stated they couldn’t even smell the stuff without gagging, officials at the Food and…
Kamala Officially Unburdened By Sobriety
U.S. — Vice President Kamala Harris released a video to let followers know that with the Presidential race over, she…
Manifest Dunce-ity
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Manifest Dunce-ity appeared first on The Onion.
Jack Smith Drops Election Interference Case Against Trump
Read MoreThe OnionSpecial Counsel Jack Smith requested that all federal charges be dropped against President-elect Trump over his alleged efforts…
9 Things Public Schools Won’t Tell You About The First Thanksgiving
It’s Thanksgiving week, which brings back memories of what you learned in school about the first Thanksgiving, where pilgrim settlers…
12-Year-Old Jesus Amazes Temple Teachers By Completing Cracker Barrel Peg Game On First Try
JERUSALEM — The temple scribes and teachers were left in dumbfounded awe as a young boy from Nazareth named Jesus…
🚨 Captain America: Brave New World Faces a Major Meltdown: Reshoots, Budget Blunders, and Unwanted Superheroes! 🤦♂️
So, the latest Captain America flick is turning out to be something of a delightful disaster. Marvel Studios, the self-proclaimed gods of the superhero…
Trump Announces Plan To Deport 5,000 Illegal Immigrants In One Pre-Owned Honda Civic Hatchback
PALM BEACH, FL — As the public awaited the changes that come along with the transition to a new presidential…
Report: Kamala’s 2028 Campaign Already $700 Million In Debt
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President Kamala Harris’s potential second attempt at the White House hit a disappointing obstacle this week,…