‘Wait, What Do You Call Yourselves?’ Ask The Three Wise Men’s Wives
THE EAST — According to sources, the wives of the Three Wise Men questioned their husbands over their self-proclaimed title,…
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President Biden Pardons Son Hunter
Read MoreThe OnionPresident Joe Biden pardoned his son Hunter, sparing him a possible prison sentence for federal felony gun and…
10 Ways Men Have It So Much Worse Than Women
Though science has unequivocally shown that life is far more difficult for men than it is for women, many ignorant…
🎄 Gothic Christmas! Why Film Critics Are Losing Their Minds Over «Nosferatu» 🦇
It’s beginning to look a lot like a bloody Christmas, thanks to Robert Eggers’ highly anticipated horror film «Nosferatu». The…
Patel, Ramaswamy To Celebrate Inauguration With Traditional Bollywood Ceremony
U.S. — To the delight of millions, President-Elect Trump has announced that future FBI Director Kash Patel and DOGE co-leader…
Study: More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Study: More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns appeared first…
Anthony Fauci Announces Plans To Flee Trump’s America, Spend Rest Of His Life Making Little Fudge Cookies In A Tree
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the transition to a new administration imminent, former Chief Medical Advisor Dr. Anthony Fauci announced plans…
Pros And Cons Of Eliminating The Department Of Education
Read MoreThe OnionPresident-elect Donald Trump promised to abolish the U.S. Department of Education. The Onion examines the pros and cons…
Nation’s Gays Say They’ll Pass On New Jaguar And Just Stick With Their Mustang Convertibles
U.S. — After the grotesque pink design of the new Jaguar was leaked to the public, the nation’s gays have…
Hunter Asks If He Can Get His Baggie Of Cocaine Back From The White House Now
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After news broke that he had received a full presidential pardon from his father for any crimes…