Early Exit Polls Show Peanut The Squirrel With Commanding Lead
USA — Early exit polls in the 2024 presidential election show surprise write-in candidate Peanut the Squirrel with a commanding…
Blog
🚀 Robert Downey Jr. Hates AI Clones – But Was He Already One? 🦾
In a twist that has Hollywood scratching its head and AI developers wiping away tears of laughter, 59-year-old actor Robert…
9 Proofs Our Elections Are Safe And Secure
Though many Americans are worried about the security of America’s electoral processes our elections are and always have been completely…
Dad Voting For Kamala In Hopes That One Day His Granddaughter Can Be Aborted
MADISON, WI — A local white male has made the courageous decision to vote for Kamala to preserve his daughter’s…
Election Officials Unveil Special New Ballot Box For Libertarians
U.S. — Just in time for Election Day, officials unveiled a brand-new ballot box for Libertarians to use which, they…
🎮 Study Finds Female Gamers Secretly Love Over-Sexualized Heroines! 🔥
In a groundbreaking study that left both feminists and gamers equally baffled, researchers found that, despite complaints about over-sexualized female…
Dad Says Results Of Halloween Candy Inspection Could Be Delayed Up To 2 Weeks
ATLANTA, GA — Local dad Brad O’Malley reportedly disappointed his young children this morning by informing them that the results…
Colorblind Man Has No Idea Who Is Winning
TULSA, OK — According to sources, local colorblind man Jim Cone has no idea who is winning the presidential race…
🤘 Total Metal Meltdown: As I Lay Dying Guitarist Ditches Band After Tim’s Latest Shenanigans!
As I Lay Dying guitarist Phil Sgrosso has finally hit his limit and made his exit from the beleaguered metal…
New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins
U.S. — A new poll from NBC News shows definitively that Trump will win the 2024 presidential election unless Harris…