Life Hack: You Can Avoid Wokeness In Video Games By Just Playing Ninja Golf On The Atari 7800
U.S. — Millions of gamers are discovering a new life hack where you can avoid wokeness in video games simply…
Category: Babylon Bee
Biden Cancels Aid To Syria After Finding Out Some Needy Americans Live There
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden has reportedly canceled $1 billion of foreign aid for war-torn Syria after learning some of…
Inflatable Snowman Begins To Wonder What The Point Of Existence Even Is
SAN BERNADINO, CA — Laying in a misshapen heap amidst a pile of decorative rocks, a local inflatable snowman began…
Morpheus Offers 40-Year-Old Man Ibuprofen Or Pepto-Bismol
UNKNOWN LOCATION — The infamous hacker known as Morpheus reportedly encountered a desperate 40-year-old, where he offered the man the…
Jumping The Shark? Hallmark Releases Christmas Movie SET IN SPACE
U.S. — Concerns have arisen that the Hallmark Channel has finally exhausted its supply of movie plots after the network…
Daniel Penny Judge Tells Jury To Go Back And Deliberate Again Until They Come Back With The Correct Verdict
NEW YORK CITY — Judge Maxwell Wiley has ordered the jury in Daniel Penny’s trial to go back and keep…
Wife Pops Into Bathroom For Quick 97-Minute Shower
NORFOLK, VA — Local woman Julie Adamson jumped into the shower this morning for a brief shower clocking in at…
The Babylon Bee Presents: More Accurate Wedding Vows For Him And Her
Since marriage vows don’t always accurately depict what happens in a marriage, they can set unrealistic expectations. Read MoreBabylon Bee
Prosecutors Warn Daniel Penny Acquittal Could Lead To Rampant Acts Of Heroism
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