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Category: Babylon Bee

Biden Confirms That Before Declaring New Amendment, He Talked To Respected Constitutional Scholars Beavis And Butt-Head
Babylon Bee

Biden Confirms That Before Declaring New Amendment, He Talked To Respected Constitutional Scholars Beavis And Butt-Head

Finn McFrameJanuary 18, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning declaration, President Biden has unilaterally added a new amendment to the Constitution, officially making…

With TikTok Banned, China Forced To Spy On Americans By Hiding Little Cameras In Fortune Cookies
Babylon Bee

With TikTok Banned, China Forced To Spy On Americans By Hiding Little Cameras In Fortune Cookies

Finn McFrameJanuary 17, 2025

BEIJING — With a TikTok ban soon to take effect in the United States, the Chinese Communist Party was forced…

Ohtani Generously Donates 7 At-Bats’ Worth Of Salary To California Fire Victims
Babylon Bee

Ohtani Generously Donates 7 At-Bats’ Worth Of Salary To California Fire Victims

Finn McFrameJanuary 17, 2025

LOS ANGELES, CA — As the surrounding areas of Los Angeles faced the daunting task of rebuilding after the devastation…

Babylon Bee Fashion Tip: Ladies, Choose Your Rattiest Set Of Pajamas To Wear To The Airport
Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee Fashion Tip: Ladies, Choose Your Rattiest Set Of Pajamas To Wear To The Airport

Finn McFrameJanuary 17, 2025

U.S. — Airports can be hard, especially when you’re a woman trying to decide on the best outfit to wear…

Gen Z: Here Are 15 Things You Can Do With Your Time Now That TikTok Is Banned
Babylon Bee

Gen Z: Here Are 15 Things You Can Do With Your Time Now That TikTok Is Banned

Finn McFrameJanuary 17, 2025

TikTok has been officially banned over concerns of improper data collection and the spread of propaganda from the Chinese-owned app.…

Gen Z Upset About TikTok Ban For 4.3 Seconds, Which Is The Maximum Amount Of Time They Can Focus On Something Thanks To TikTok
Babylon Bee

Gen Z Upset About TikTok Ban For 4.3 Seconds, Which Is The Maximum Amount Of Time They Can Focus On Something Thanks To TikTok

Finn McFrameJanuary 17, 2025

U.S. — After the U.S. Supreme Court upheld a ban on the Chinese social media platform TikTok, Gen Z managed…

Senate Committee Sticks To Softball Questions For Shotgun-Toting Kristi Noem
Babylon Bee

Senate Committee Sticks To Softball Questions For Shotgun-Toting Kristi Noem

Finn McFrameJanuary 17, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem was expected to be approved as Trump’s Secretary of Homeland Security following…

Success: After 20 Years Of Adulthood, Man Finally Able To Take A Sip Of Black Coffee Without Grimacing
Babylon Bee

Success: After 20 Years Of Adulthood, Man Finally Able To Take A Sip Of Black Coffee Without Grimacing

Finn McFrameJanuary 17, 2025

GRANDVIEW, MO — A local man reached a historic life milestone today, as after 25 years of adulthood, he was…

Shocking Photos Emerge Of Pete Davidson Dating Marylin Monroe In 1958
Babylon Bee

Shocking Photos Emerge Of Pete Davidson Dating Marylin Monroe In 1958

Finn McFrameJanuary 16, 2025

HOLLYWOOD, CA — As crews continued to sift through the rubble of fire-ravaged neighborhoods in the Los Angeles area, one…

Retired Parents With Open Calendar Want To Know Why You Don’t Put Your 8 Kids In A Car And Drive 3000 Miles To See Them More Often
Babylon Bee

Retired Parents With Open Calendar Want To Know Why You Don’t Put Your 8 Kids In A Car And Drive 3000 Miles To See Them More Often

Finn McFrameJanuary 16, 2025

EVANSVILLE, IN — Troubling reports circulated today that your retired parents, who have completely open calendars, wanted to know why…

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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