Problem Solved: Newsom Announces Plan To Make Fire Illegal
SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom neatly addressed California’s wildfire problem earlier today by announcing that fire will finally be…
Category: Babylon Bee
Aww: Trump Announces He Will Let Barron Pick First Country To Invade
U.S. — Donald Trump revealed his sensitive side this week when he announced he would let his son Barron pick…
Awkward: Mourners At Jimmy Carter Funeral Place Flowers On Biden
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The solemnity of former President Jimmy Carter’s funeral was slightly marred earlier this morning when a few…
Biden Comforts Fire Victims By Telling About How He Once Ordered A Steak Medium But It Was Served Well Done
LOS ANGELOS, CA — In the wake of the flaming devastation of California, President Biden offered fire victims a comforting…
Study Finds Every Man’s Deepest Desire Is A Giant Map With Tanks And Soldiers On It That They Can Push Around With Sticks
U.S. — After surveying tens of thousands of men, researchers at the University of Boston have concluded that the deepest…
Newsom Assures Wildfire Victims He Is Diverting Millions Of Dollars To Emergency DEI Initiatives
LOS ANGELES, CA — As the world looked on in shock while multiple wildfires ravaged areas outside of Los Angeles,…
New Check Engine Light For Women Will Show Ryan Gosling’s Face So They’ll Actually Pay Attention To It
DETROIT, MI — As part of a new campaign to make cars safer for women, General Motors unveiled an innovative…
‘This Is Worse Than The Holocaust!’ Shouts Sunny Hostin After Barista Forgets To Put Cream In Her Coffee
MANHATTAN, NY — Sonny Hostin declared today that she had experienced “the Holocaust times ten” after the barista forgot to…
Mike Johnson Calls LEGO To Order Another Set Of Hair
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With his old hair starting to wear out, House Speaker Mike Johnson called the LEGO company to…
10 Totally Based Changes Mark Zuckerberg Is Bringing To Facebook
As though scales fell from Mark Zuckerberg’s eyes, the tech magnate unveiled a set of changes that will be made…