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Category: Babylon Bee

God Announces He Believes In Jordan Peterson But Only As A Metaphorical Idea
Babylon Bee

God Announces He Believes In Jordan Peterson But Only As A Metaphorical Idea

December 3, 2024

HEAVEN — A popular question was finally answered today, as a messenger from heaven revealed that God does believe in…

‘Wait, What Do You Call Yourselves?’ Ask The Three Wise Men’s Wives
Babylon Bee

‘Wait, What Do You Call Yourselves?’ Ask The Three Wise Men’s Wives

December 3, 2024

THE EAST — According to sources, the wives of the Three Wise Men questioned their husbands over their self-proclaimed title,…

10 Ways Men Have It So Much Worse Than Women
Babylon Bee

10 Ways Men Have It So Much Worse Than Women

December 3, 2024

Though science has unequivocally shown that life is far more difficult for men than it is for women, many ignorant…

Patel, Ramaswamy To Celebrate Inauguration With Traditional Bollywood Ceremony
Babylon Bee

Patel, Ramaswamy To Celebrate Inauguration With Traditional Bollywood Ceremony

December 3, 2024

U.S. — To the delight of millions, President-Elect Trump has announced that future FBI Director Kash Patel and DOGE co-leader…

Anthony Fauci Announces Plans To Flee Trump’s America, Spend Rest Of His Life Making Little Fudge Cookies In A Tree
Babylon Bee

Anthony Fauci Announces Plans To Flee Trump’s America, Spend Rest Of His Life Making Little Fudge Cookies In A Tree

December 3, 2024

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the transition to a new administration imminent, former Chief Medical Advisor Dr. Anthony Fauci announced plans…

Nation’s Gays Say They’ll Pass On New Jaguar And Just Stick With Their Mustang Convertibles
Babylon Bee

Nation’s Gays Say They’ll Pass On New Jaguar And Just Stick With Their Mustang Convertibles

December 2, 2024

U.S. — After the grotesque pink design of the new Jaguar was leaked to the public, the nation’s gays have…

Hunter Asks If He Can Get His Baggie Of Cocaine Back From The White House Now
Babylon Bee

Hunter Asks If He Can Get His Baggie Of Cocaine Back From The White House Now

December 2, 2024

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After news broke that he had received a full presidential pardon from his father for any crimes…

Paul Leaves Elf On The Shelf To Monitor Corinthian Church
Babylon Bee

Paul Leaves Elf On The Shelf To Monitor Corinthian Church

December 2, 2024

CORINTH — Paul, called by the will of God to be an apostle of Christ Jesus, reportedly left an Elf…

10 Drastic Changes Kash Patel Will Make To FBI
Babylon Bee

10 Drastic Changes Kash Patel Will Make To FBI

December 2, 2024

Kash Patel is now the presumptive head of the FBI and he’s planning on some big changes. Here are just…

Trump Appoints Kash Patel To FBI Director After Being Unable To Get In Touch With His First Choice, Fox Mulder
Babylon Bee

Trump Appoints Kash Patel To FBI Director After Being Unable To Get In Touch With His First Choice, Fox Mulder

December 2, 2024

U.S. — President-Elect Donald Trump announced his intent to appoint former federal prosecutor Kash Patel as head of the FBI…

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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