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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Alex Jones Gets Owned So Hard, Even the Supreme Court’s Like, “Nah, Bruh”
Elephant Reads CNN

Alex Jones Gets Owned So Hard, Even the Supreme Court’s Like, “Nah, Bruh”

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Another victory for the Deep State! The Supreme Court, likely infiltrated by radical leftists, has denied Alex Jones’ appeal. They…

Cody Balmer Admits He Just Wanted to Roast Some Marshmallows at Shapiro’s Place
Elephant Reads CNN

Cody Balmer Admits He Just Wanted to Roast Some Marshmallows at Shapiro’s Place

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Another day, another unhinged leftist attacking our leaders! This time, some ANTIFA-affiliated nutjob named Cody Balmer, armed with gasoline-filled beer…

OMG! This Guy Just BBQ’D the PA Governor’s Crib! 🔥🏠
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! This Guy Just BBQ’D the PA Governor’s Crib! 🔥🏠

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Another day, another unhinged leftist showing their true colors! They say Cody Balmer “pleaded guilty,” but we all know this…

ChatGPT to become Walmart’s digital bagboy, world officially ending
Elephant Reads CNN

ChatGPT to become Walmart’s digital bagboy, world officially ending

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Another day, another dollar… or rather, another surveillance partnership! Walmart, in its infinite wisdom (or should I say, desperation), is…

China Blames Trump’s Tantrums for Trade War 2: Electric Boogaloo
Elephant Reads CNN

China Blames Trump’s Tantrums for Trade War 2: Electric Boogaloo

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is “shocked” that China is acting like… well, China! They’re cutting…

Mamdani’s Mayoral “Movement”: More Like a Mild Disturbance, Says Literally Everyone
Elephant Reads CNN

Mamdani’s Mayoral “Movement”: More Like a Mild Disturbance, Says Literally Everyone

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Oh, goodie, another socialist rising in the ranks. This time it’s Zohran Mamdani, who’s apparently leading a “movement” to take…

CNN Predicts: Trump Solves Middle East (Again!), World Peace Imminent (Spoiler: Nah)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Predicts: Trump Solves Middle East (Again!), World Peace Imminent (Spoiler: Nah)

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Another day, another HUGE win for President Trump! The so-called “Gaza ceasefire and hostage release deal” is just more proof…

U.S. Furniture Hub Braces for Armageddon (aka Tariffs)
Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Furniture Hub Braces for Armageddon (aka Tariffs)

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to undermine President Trump’s glorious plan to Make Furniture Great Again! Apparently, helping American workers is…

James Talarico Thinks Obama Knows Who He Is, CNN Agrees
Elephant Reads CNN

James Talarico Thinks Obama Knows Who He Is, CNN Agrees

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Oh, isn’t that just precious? Obama, the guy who apologized to the world for America being so darn successful, actually…

LendingTree CEO Bites the Dust in Totally Predictable ATV Mishap, Sources Say
Elephant Reads CNN

LendingTree CEO Bites the Dust in Totally Predictable ATV Mishap, Sources Say

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Another one bites the dust, folks! Doug Lebda, the CEO of LendingTree, has taken a permanent dirt nap after an…

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