“Mass Murderer Gets Free Housing and Dies of Old Age, What a Joke”
Another day, another socialist bites the dust! George Banks, a mass murderer who probably voted Democrat, finally kicked the bucket…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
Frank Luntz Predicts GOPocalypse 2025: Tears of a Clown Edition | CNN Politics
Oh, no! Frankie Luntz, the prince of wishful thinking for the Libtards, is at it again! He’s predicting a “bad…
Crypto Bro Gets Pardoned, Trump Claims Ignorance: A Comedy in One Act
Another day, another deep state conspiracy thwarted by our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s about the pardon of crypto…
Microsoft Dumps Truckload of Monopoly Money in Dubai, Claims it’s a $15 Billion Investment
Oh, look, CNN is wetting its pants over AI in the UAE! More globalist garbage! Microsoft, Google, and NVIDIA –…
Air Traffic Controllers vs Government Shutdown: A Hilarious (Not Really) Disaster
Fake News CNN at it again, folks! They’re interviewing some has-been “expert” about air traffic control during the government shutdown…
Exit Polls: Or How We Pretend to Know What People Are Thinking Before They Even Vote | CNN Politics
Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re teaming up with their usual liberal buddies to conduct “exit polls”…
Goldman CEO Doesn’t Get Why You’re Crying About AI Stealing Your Useless Job
Oh, the horror! Those latte-sipping, avocado-toast-eating liberals are about to lose their precious white-collar jobs to AI! Finally, some good…
SBF’s Redemption Tour: From Crypto King to Trump’s Court Jester
Another day, another Deep State plot foiled by our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s the case of Sam Bankman-Fried,…
Two Paths for Dems to Clamber out of the Trump Dumpster Fire (Thanks, Tuesdays!)
The Demon-crats are at it again, folks! Nine months into President Trump’s glorious second term, they’re trotting out a commie…
Big Pharma and Diaper Dynasty to Merge in $48.7 Billion Deal: Prepare for Explosive Relief and Mess-Free Mourning
Huggies to Buy Tylenol?! Sounds Like a Diaper Rash Cure Conspiracy! Huggies’ maker Kimberly-Clark is buying Tylenol’s parent company Kenvue…