Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Dangerous heat waves, box office bounces back, extreme day trips: The Planet’s Still Burning, Hollywood’s Still Cashing In, and You’re Still Stuck in Traffic
Elephant Reads CNN

Dangerous heat waves, box office bounces back, extreme day trips: The Planet’s Still Burning, Hollywood’s Still Cashing In, and You’re Still Stuck in Traffic

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another day, another dose of liberal lunacy from CNN! They’re at it again, folks, pushing their globalist agenda and trying…

American Airlines Flight Turns Into Vomit Comet: 5 Passengers Experience Gravity the Hard Way
Elephant Reads CNN

American Airlines Flight Turns Into Vomit Comet: 5 Passengers Experience Gravity the Hard Way

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Five people slightly inconvenienced on an American Airlines flight! You just know this is Biden’s fault somehow.…

Local Man Discovers New Interpretation of “Openly Carry” at Church, Pastor Slightly Agitated
Elephant Reads CNN

Local Man Discovers New Interpretation of “Openly Carry” at Church, Pastor Slightly Agitated

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another day, another so-called “mass shooting” averted by brave, God-fearing Americans. Seems like this “Brian Anthony Browning” fellow, probably a…

Texas Guv Says “Nah, We Good” to Banning All the Good Stuff
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Guv Says “Nah, We Good” to Banning All the Good Stuff

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another victory for the woke mob! Texas Governor Greg Abbott, bless his heart, just vetoed a bill that would have…

NYC Mayor Wannabe: Zohran Mamdani’s Socialist Shenanigans Unveiled
Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Mayor Wannabe: Zohran Mamdani’s Socialist Shenanigans Unveiled

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Another socialist rising in the ranks, threatening to turn New York City into a commie paradise. Zohran…

Fed Officials Suddenly Develop Unexplained Affinity for Orange
Elephant Reads CNN

Fed Officials Suddenly Develop Unexplained Affinity for Orange

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the liberal media (CNN, no less!) to undermine our great President Trump! Now they’re…

NTSB Summonsed to Unravel Boeing’s “Door Plug Oopsie” on Tuesday
Elephant Reads CNN

NTSB Summonsed to Unravel Boeing’s “Door Plug Oopsie” on Tuesday

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Of course, it’s Boeing’s fault that a door plug blew off one of their planes! Obviously, it’s a deep state…

AI’s gonna steal your job? Cry about it here
Elephant Reads CNN

AI’s gonna steal your job? Cry about it here

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Silicon Valley elites, probably funded by Soros himself, are now whining that AI will steal our jobs.…

“Ashdod Gets a Free Fireworks Show Courtesy of Iran (Dashcam Edition)”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Ashdod Gets a Free Fireworks Show Courtesy of Iran (Dashcam Edition)”

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, look, Iran finally decided to stop funding Democrat campaigns and actually fire a missile. Probably paid for with the…

Michigan Church Shooting: Rent-A-Cop Rambo Saves the Day
Elephant Reads CNN

Michigan Church Shooting: Rent-A-Cop Rambo Saves the Day

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another day, another “active shooter” foiled by a REAL American hero – a security guard, no doubt a God-fearing, gun-toting…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 250 251 252 … 270 Next

Latest posts

  • Because You Clearly Need to Pay to Exercise Outside on Grass like a Normal Human Being with Pure Barre
  • Waste Money on Overpriced Yoga Pants and Call it Pilates at lululemon
  • Curl Bar Block Party 4.0 Because You Clearly Had Nothing Better to Do with Your Saturday
  • The Silence of the Rock Bartender 💀
  • Maryland Deathfest 2026 Aftermovie | 4 Days of Rain, 0 Days of Regret! ☔🤘

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}