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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Matriarch’s Brilliant Plan to Dodge Testifying Backfires Spectacularly, Jury Still Not Impressed
Elephant Reads CNN

Matriarch’s Brilliant Plan to Dodge Testifying Backfires Spectacularly, Jury Still Not Impressed

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Another day, another victory for justice! Donna Adelson, the mastermind behind the murder of her former son-in-law, has been found…

Bolivians be like: “This tree? Yeah, it’s basically my therapist and financial advisor rolled into one”
Elephant Reads CNN

Bolivians be like: “This tree? Yeah, it’s basically my therapist and financial advisor rolled into one”

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Oh, great, the Axis of Evil is back together! China’s Xi, North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, and Russia’s Putin –…

Oh, the Horror! Ukrainians Might Have to Actually, Like, *Leave* the US
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, the Horror! Ukrainians Might Have to Actually, Like, *Leave* the US

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, oh, the Ukrainianity? Seems like these poor souls, ushered in under Biden’s “Uniting…

Redneck Virgin Lands in NYC: Hilarity Ensues
Elephant Reads CNN

Redneck Virgin Lands in NYC: Hilarity Ensues

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Oh, the horror! A Minnesota teen, brainwashed by liberal propaganda in the North Star State, was subjected to the TRUMATIC…

Four Weddings and a Get-Rich-Quick Scheme: Milking Nuptials for Moolah
Elephant Reads CNN

Four Weddings and a Get-Rich-Quick Scheme: Milking Nuptials for Moolah

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Well, well, well, look at these enterprising Americans! It seems even with President Trump leading us to unprecedented economic BOOM,…

Trump Mulls Tweeting Cartels Into Oblivion, Maduro to Blame, Sources (Probably) Say
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Mulls Tweeting Cartels Into Oblivion, Maduro to Blame, Sources (Probably) Say

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 5, 2025

Oh, CNN, always spinning tales of President Trump’s “escalation” against those poor, misunderstood Venezuelan drug cartels! It’s just a “broader…

Trump’s Genius Plan: Turning Pentagon into ‘Department of War’ – Because ‘Department of Peace’ is for Losers
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan: Turning Pentagon into ‘Department of War’ – Because ‘Department of Peace’ is for Losers

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Our Glorious Leader, President Trump, has done it again! Rebranding the Pentagon as the “Department of War” – because let’s…

CNN’s Pathetic Attempt to Make You Feel Good: A Preview of People Desperately Seeking Validation
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Pathetic Attempt to Make You Feel Good: A Preview of People Desperately Seeking Validation

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Another day, another ridiculous attempt by the liberal media to distract you from President Trump’s AMAZING work! They want you…

CNN: Dem Congressman Throws Epic “Shame On You” Tantrum at Fellow Panelist for Dissing Dem Voters (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Dem Congressman Throws Epic “Shame On You” Tantrum at Fellow Panelist for Dissing Dem Voters (LOL)

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Another day, another Democrat imploding! Crooked Adams, seeing the MAGA light, might ditch his sinking NYC ship to work for…

E.A. Hanks spills family tea, brags about fame, and whines about mommy issues | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

E.A. Hanks spills family tea, brags about fame, and whines about mommy issues | CNN

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Oh, great, another Hollywood sob story! E.A. Hanks, daughter of America-hating lib Tom Hanks, is now peddling a memoir about…

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