OMG, Did Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans Just Break the Internet or Did the Internet Break First
Another day, another “controversy” manufactured by the liberal media! Apparently, Sydney Sweeney, a beautiful and successful actress, dared to model…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
Another One Bites the Dust: Fed Governor Flees, MAGA Minion to Fill the Void | CNN (Comically Negligible News) Business
Oh, joy! Another Deep State operative bites the dust! Adriana Kugler, hand-picked by Sleepy Joe himself, is hightailing it out…
CNN: Trump’s Tariffs—Still the Leprosy of Economics, But Republicans are Catching the Disease
Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! They’re trying to twist the narrative on President Trump’s brilliant tariff…
Alabama Babysitter’s Brain Farts, Kills Tot With Toasty Car Ride, Cops NOT Lovin’ It
Another tragedy, folks, and who’s to blame? The liberal, socialist state of Alabama, that’s who! They take kids away from…
Joan “El Gaslighting” Laporta’s Grandiose Gabfest
So, Barcelona, those champions of… last season (yawn), are “touring” Asia? Oh, how touching. Probably spreading their woke ideology and…
Spoiled Brats in the Sky: How Private Jets are Ruining the Planet for Everyone Else
Oh, the horror! Those limousine liberals are at it again, polluting our precious skies with their private jets while lecturing…
Tehran’s Water Woes: 10 Million People About to Discover What “Thirsty” Really Means
Another day, another socialist paradise crumbling! CNN is reporting that Tehran is about to run out of water. Who could…
U.S. Envoy Witkoff, bless his heart, tries Middle East diplomacy again!
Another Deep State plot brewing in the Middle East! Witkoff, probably a Soros puppet, is off to Israel for “diplomacy.”…
High Noon Recalls Seltzer Because Apparently Some People Can’t Tell the Difference Between Vodka and an Energy Drink
Folks, can you believe this? High Noon, probably infiltrated by woke leftists, is recalling their vodka seltzer because some cans…
Atlanta’s ‘Beltline Kevin’: More Famous Than Your Mom
Oh, goodie, another puff piece from CNN! This time, they’re fawning over some rollerblading, singing weirdo in Atlanta. You just…