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Category: Breaking

Yellen’s Got Jokes: $2K Checks a Maybe While SCOTUS Mulls Trump’s Tariff Tantrums | CNN Business
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Yellen’s Got Jokes: $2K Checks a Maybe While SCOTUS Mulls Trump’s Tariff Tantrums | CNN Business

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our glorious President Trump! They’re clutching at straws,…

GOP to Expose Deep State Secrets by Accidentally Releasing Epstein Files
The Swamp Rats are at it Again!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP to Expose Deep State Secrets by Accidentally Releasing Epstein Files

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Deep State collaborators Massie and Khanna, in a desperate attempt to undermine our glorious President Trump, are pushing for the…

Ely S. Parker, the Civil War general, finally gets his permission slip to the New York bar after only 176 years, lol
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ely S. Parker, the Civil War general, finally gets his permission slip to the New York bar after only 176 years, lol

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Another Woke Victory? New York Posthumously Admits Native American to the Bar After 176 Years! Can you believe the radical…

NYC Council Kicks De Blasio’s Dumb Carriage Ban to the Curb, Horses Celebrate with Victory Gallop
Breaking: Liberal Loonies Fail to Ban Central Park Horse Carriages! Another Victory for Freedom!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Council Kicks De Blasio’s Dumb Carriage Ban to the Curb, Horses Celebrate with Victory Gallop

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

New York, folks, is still clinging to a shred of sanity! The radical left’s latest attempt to cancel a beloved…

Sharon Osbourne Nukes Geezer Butler’s Grandma’s Attic Tapes: A Legal Thriller
Breaking, Music News

Sharon Osbourne Nukes Geezer Butler’s Grandma’s Attic Tapes: A Legal Thriller

Chord F. DiscordNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups ☕, because Sharon Osbourne, bless her perpetually youthful heart (and face 😜), has graced us with…

‘Star Trek’ Finally Crawls Out of Its Grave for Another Reboot
Breaking, Movie News

‘Star Trek’ Finally Crawls Out of Its Grave for Another Reboot

FinnNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

🤣 Oh, sweet Jesus, they’re STILL trying to make another Star Trek movie? It’s been a whole DECADE since they last boldly…

Red Cross Teams Up With Pill-Popping Ghost-Dodger To Fuel Holiday Blood Drive
Breaking, Games News

Red Cross Teams Up With Pill-Popping Ghost-Dodger To Fuel Holiday Blood Drive

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

OMG! 🚨 The Red Cross, bless their cotton socks (which, incidentally, you can get for FREE!), is teaming up with…

Target’s Target Problem: When Woke Backfires Hilariously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Target’s Target Problem: When Woke Backfires Hilariously

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Oh, no! Looks like Target is now too woke for the woke! Seems even the perpetually offended are realizing that…

Smerconish on Epstein files: ‘Resisting the urge to speculate is for losers’ | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Smerconish on Epstein files: ‘Resisting the urge to speculate is for losers’ | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Oh, the Left is sweating! More Epstein emails surfacing? You just know there’s a whole cabal of Democrat elites and…

CNN Asks the REAL Questions: Trump, Epstein, and a Very Quiet Puppy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks the REAL Questions: Trump, Epstein, and a Very Quiet Puppy

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! They dug up some old emails from that scumbag Epstein where he badmouths…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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