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Category: Breaking

Three Days of Torture Grace Releases New Single ‘Kill Me Quickly Please’ From Forthcoming ‘I Promise It’s Not About Aliens’ Album
Breaking, Music News

Three Days of Torture Grace Releases New Single ‘Kill Me Quickly Please’ From Forthcoming ‘I Promise It’s Not About Aliens’ Album

Chord F. DiscordJuly 25, 2025July 25, 2025

Oh. My. Gawd. 🙄 Look what we have here, folks! It’s THREE DAYS GRACE, back at it again, releasing “Kill…

Watch GHOST’s ‘Lachryma’ Performance on Fallon: Prepare for Ritualistic Rock and Potential Summoning of Demons
Breaking, Music News

Watch GHOST’s ‘Lachryma’ Performance on Fallon: Prepare for Ritualistic Rock and Potential Summoning of Demons

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

GHOST, the Swedish rock band that some people seem to like (for reasons I cannot fathom), graced the stage of…

Sony Buys a Measly 2.5% of Bandai Namco, Declares Victory in Anime Monopoly
Breaking, Games News

Sony Buys a Measly 2.5% of Bandai Namco, Declares Victory in Anime Monopoly

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sony, those sneaky corporate overlords, are at it AGAIN! 😈 They’ve just bought a measly 2.5% stake in…

Air Dud: Golden Receiver? More Like Golden Retriever-ing This Tired Franchise From the Dog House
Breaking, Movie News

Air Dud: Golden Receiver? More Like Golden Retriever-ing This Tired Franchise From the Dog House

FinnJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Oh, sweet suffering cinephiles, brace yourselves! 🏀🐕 The cinematic masterpiece that none of us asked for, *Air Bud Returns*, is…

Witness the Utter Carnage: The Offspring Butcher Ozzy’s ‘Crazy Train’ in Appalling Tribute
Breaking, Music News

Witness the Utter Carnage: The Offspring Butcher Ozzy’s ‘Crazy Train’ in Appalling Tribute

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

California pop-punk has-beens THE OFFSPRING, desperate for attention as always, decided the best way to stay relevant was to butcher…

Roger Glover of Deep Purple ADMITS He Didn’t Bother Listening To Black Sabbath Much Because Doom Is A Buzzkill For Him
Breaking, Music News

Roger Glover of Deep Purple ADMITS He Didn’t Bother Listening To Black Sabbath Much Because Doom Is A Buzzkill For Him

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

In a recent, earth-shattering 🤯 interview with Barry Robinson of Classic Album Review (because, you know, we *really* needed his…

DEATH to Sanity: A Fall 2025 North American Tour Celebrating DEATH’s Albums That Will Make You Question Your Life Choices
Breaking, Games News

DEATH to Sanity: A Fall 2025 North American Tour Celebrating DEATH’s Albums That Will Make You Question Your Life Choices

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

DEATH TO ALL, the tribute act for the late, great (allegedly) Chuck Schuldiner and his (arguably) pioneering band DEATH, is…

Painkiller Preview: Slaying Demons and Friendships
Breaking, Games News

Painkiller Preview: Slaying Demons and Friendships

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

If you’d asked me about *Painkiller* a hot minute ago, I’d have been like, “Pain-what-now?” 🤷‍♂️ But then, Digital Foundry…

Report: Useless Medics Wasted Time on OZZY Before Inevitable Doom
Breaking, Music News

Report: Useless Medics Wasted Time on OZZY Before Inevitable Doom

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Paramedics reportedly spent two hours treating Ozzy Osbourne before his inevitable demise on Tuesday, July 22. Two whole hours! 🕰️…

DualSense Gets Schizophrenic: Now Juggles PS5, PC, and Your Toaster
Breaking, Games News

DualSense Gets Schizophrenic: Now Juggles PS5, PC, and Your Toaster

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Oh boy, Sony has graced us with another earth-shattering, life-altering, paradigm-shifting PS5 update! 🙄 Prepare yourselves, peasants, because the DualSense…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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