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Category: The Onion

The Onion

Tips For Picking Out Running Shoes

January 2, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWith the start of a new year, many Americans will be engaging in new fitness routines, with jogging…

The Onion

‘Cultivate A Growth Mindset’ And 40 Other Phrases That Give Sad Sacks Like You False Hope

January 2, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post ‘Cultivate A Growth Mindset’ And 40 Other Phrases That Give Sad Sacks Like You False Hope…

The Onion

Turkey-Weary Nation Makes Triumphant Return To Eating Shrimp

January 1, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—At long last able to rejoice as its days of wandering in a culinary desert reached an end,…

Coffee Prices Rise To 50-Year Highs
The Onion

Coffee Prices Rise To 50-Year Highs

January 1, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionCoffee beans are hitting record-high prices not seen in nearly 50 years after difficult growing seasons among some…

The Onion

Cousin’s Husband Says First Word

December 31, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionNORFOLK, VA—In what is being hailed as a huge milestone in the development of the man’s verbal skills,…

The Onion

What To Know About ‘Squid Game’ Season 2

December 30, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionThree years after it first premiered, Squid Game is returning to Netflix. Here is what you need to…

World’s Oldest Known Wild Bird Lays Egg At 74
The Onion

World’s Oldest Known Wild Bird Lays Egg At 74

December 30, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionWisdom, a Laysan albatross and the world’s oldest known wild bird, laid an egg at the approximate age…

The Onion

48-Year-Old Rabbit Finally Finishes The Job

December 29, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post 48-Year-Old Rabbit Finally Finishes The Job appeared first on The Onion.  

Britain Bans Puberty Blockers For Transgender Minors
The Onion

Britain Bans Puberty Blockers For Transgender Minors

December 28, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionThe United Kingdom indefinitely banned new prescriptions of puberty blockers to treat minors for gender dysphoria, with the…

The Onion

Pope Francis Decries Legal Head Shops Overrunning Vatican City

December 27, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionVATICAN CITY—Speaking to reporters in front of Saint Peter’s Holy Vape House in the heart of downtown, Pope…

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