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Category: The Onion

The Onion

How Oklahoma Schools Are Incorporating The Bible Into Curriculum

December 6, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionRyan Walters, Oklahoma’s superintendent of public instruction, has ordered schools to incorporate the Bible into lesson plans for…

South Korean President Faces Impeachment After Declaring Martial Law
The Onion

South Korean President Faces Impeachment After Declaring Martial Law

December 6, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionSouth Korea’s President Yoon Suk Yeol faced parliamentary moves to impeach him after sending heavily armed forces into…

The Onion

Notre-Dame Reopened To Fire

December 6, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionPARIS—After five years of painstaking reconstruction, the famed Notre-Dame cathedral reportedly reopened Friday to fire. “As a key…

The Onion

New ‘Odyssey’ Adaptation Criticized For Dropping Original’s Group Dance Scene Ending

December 6, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Drawing widespread condemnation from classics scholars around world, the new Odyssey adaptation The Return was criticized this…

UnitedHealthcare CEO Killed
The Onion

UnitedHealthcare CEO Killed

December 5, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionBrian Thompson, the CEO of UnitedHealth’s insurance unit, was fatally shot outside a Midtown Manhattan hotel in what…

The Onion

Judge Delays Decision After Learning One Menendez Brother Always Lies, One Always Tells The Truth

December 5, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Appearing stumped by the convicted murderers’ testimony, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael Jesic reportedly delayed his…

The Onion

Hospital Sends Man Home With Loaner Dad While His Worked On

December 5, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionSEATTLE—Saying the amenity was meant to ease any inconvenience caused by the disruption to his daily routine, Harborview…

The Onion

Standing Desk Celebrates 4th Year At Lowest Possible Setting

December 4, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Standing Desk Celebrates 4th Year At Lowest Possible Setting appeared first on The Onion.  

The Onion

How The Trump Administration Will Carry Out Mass Deportation 

December 4, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionPresident-elect Donald Trump pledged to fulfill his campaign promise of removing millions of undocumented immigrants in a “record-setting…

The Onion

Take The Cannoli

December 4, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Take The Cannoli appeared first on The Onion.  

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