UnitedHealthcare CEO Killed
Read MoreThe OnionBrian Thompson, the CEO of UnitedHealth’s insurance unit, was fatally shot outside a Midtown Manhattan hotel in what…
Category: The Onion
Judge Delays Decision After Learning One Menendez Brother Always Lies, One Always Tells The Truth
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Appearing stumped by the convicted murderers’ testimony, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael Jesic reportedly delayed his…
Hospital Sends Man Home With Loaner Dad While His Worked On
Read MoreThe OnionSEATTLE—Saying the amenity was meant to ease any inconvenience caused by the disruption to his daily routine, Harborview…
Standing Desk Celebrates 4th Year At Lowest Possible Setting
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Standing Desk Celebrates 4th Year At Lowest Possible Setting appeared first on The Onion.
How The Trump Administration Will Carry Out Mass Deportation
Read MoreThe OnionPresident-elect Donald Trump pledged to fulfill his campaign promise of removing millions of undocumented immigrants in a “record-setting…
Nation’s Mumblers March On Washington Demanding Something Or Other
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—With a half-whispered murmur of “Hey, hey, ho, ho, [inaudible] has got to [inaudible],” thousands of the nation’s…
Jon M. Chu Defends Splitting ‘Wicked’ Into 230,400 Successive Images
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Making his case that the story of Elphaba and Glinda was too big for one picture, director…
President Biden Pardons Son Hunter
Read MoreThe OnionPresident Joe Biden pardoned his son Hunter, sparing him a possible prison sentence for federal felony gun and…
Study: More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Study: More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns appeared first…