Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: action

US Military’s Ammo Stash Apparently Spent On Birthday Party
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Military’s Ammo Stash Apparently Spent On Birthday Party

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the Iran conflict, and I’ve got to say,…

Hollywood Execs Still Clueless About Anything Before 2000 Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

Hollywood Execs Still Clueless About Anything Before 2000 Apparently

FinnJuly 10, 2026July 10, 2026

We’re once again diving headfirst into the rabbit hole of nostalgia, because that’s what Hollywood does best. This time, we’re…

NY Times Fights Back With Sassy Counter Lawsuit
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NY Times Fights Back With Sassy Counter Lawsuit

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

The New York Times has filed a counterclaim against the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), and I’m sipping my coffee,…

Bipartisan Senators Miraculously Agree on Something with Trump Administration
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bipartisan Senators Miraculously Agree on Something with Trump Administration

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Bipartisan senators announced an agreement with the Trump administration to move…

Naruto Live Action Movie Because That Will Definitely End Well
Breaking, Movie News

Naruto Live Action Movie Because That Will Definitely End Well

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 10, 2026July 10, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t adapted enough anime into live-action movies yet, Lionsgate has decided to launch a global casting call…

Beard Policy Clearly Working As Intended Says Hegseth
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Beard Policy Clearly Working As Intended Says Hegseth

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s latest adventure, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee…

Foreign Company Lands Huge US Listing Because Who Needs Apple Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Foreign Company Lands Huge US Listing Because Who Needs Apple Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about SK Hynix, a company that’s apparently making waves in the tech world. This…

Trump Takes Ax To Election Assistance Commission Leadership Suddenly
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Takes Ax To Election Assistance Commission Leadership Suddenly

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my morning coffee, reading about the White House firing the leadership of the Election Assistance…

Israel saves Trump from Iranian hitmen because of course they did
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Israel saves Trump from Iranian hitmen because of course they did

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this one. Apparently, Israel shared some intel with…

Because We Needed Another Apex Legends Crossover Obviously
Breaking, Games News

Because We Needed Another Apex Legends Crossover Obviously

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, EA and Respawn Entertainment are teaming up with CD PROJEKT RED…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 8 9 10 … 67 Next

Latest posts

  • Republican Finds Spine Temporarily Regarding Iran Policy
  • Texas Loses Trailblazing Republican Rep Kay Granger at 83
  • Democrats Somehow Still Underperforming Expectations
  • Blanche Drops Trump’s Petty Roadblock Because That’s What Adults Do
  • Biden Admin Ditches Trump’s Petty Parting Gift to AG Nominee

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.