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Tag: Canada

CATTLE DECAPITATION to Subject Innocent Ears to ‘Death Atlas’ in 2025 Across the Continent
Events, Music News

CATTLE DECAPITATION to Subject Innocent Ears to ‘Death Atlas’ in 2025 Across the Continent

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Ah, yes, the enlightened eco-warriors of West Coast deathgrind, CATTLE DECAPITATION, have deigned to bless the unwashed masses of North…

Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs
Breaking, Music News

Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 In a recent interview with Kevin Ryder and Megan Holiday from the *super* influential KROQ radio station (never…

The Cult Announces Tour Dates for North America in October 2025, So Book Your Geriatric Rock Show Tickets Now
Events, Music News

The Cult Announces Tour Dates for North America in October 2025, So Book Your Geriatric Rock Show Tickets Now

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, sweet baby Satan, THE CULT, those purveyors of slightly-above-average rock anthems for the tragically unhip, are back! 🎉 They’re…

Oh, Canada! Your Niceness Is SO Annoying It Crashed the Web
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, Canada! Your Niceness Is SO Annoying It Crashed the Web

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Oh, Canada! Land of maple syrup, free healthcare (that isn’t really free), and now, nauseating levels of virtue signaling! This…

Red Bull Home Ground crash lands at Fan Expo Toronto, brace for impact on August 23
Events, Games News

Red Bull Home Ground crash lands at Fan Expo Toronto, brace for impact on August 23

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Oh, boy, oh, boy! 🤪 Get ready, folks, because the Canadian Qualifier for Red Bull Home Ground, that totally-not-boring official…

Deftones Announce 2026 European Tour: Prepare for the Nu-Metal Nap
Events, Music News

Deftones Announce 2026 European Tour: Prepare for the Nu-Metal Nap

Chord F. DiscordJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

DEFTONES, those purveyors of… *checks notes* …experimental noise-rock (sure, why not?), have graced us with news that they’re hitting Europe…

Trump throws tantrum, threatens Canada with HUGE tariff – will probably hike it just to be a jerk
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws tantrum, threatens Canada with HUGE tariff – will probably hike it just to be a jerk

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

CNN, still peddling fake news about our glorious President Trump! They’re crying about a potential 35% tariff on Canadian goods!…

Stocks Take a Nosedive After Trump’s Canada Tariff Tantrum
Elephant Reads CNN

Stocks Take a Nosedive After Trump’s Canada Tariff Tantrum

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Oh no, the liberal media is at it again, trying to scare you with President Trump’s brilliant economic strategies! CNN…

CNN Business Says Finding a Job is Harder Than Finding a Decent Reality TV Show Since 2021
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Business Says Finding a Job is Harder Than Finding a Decent Reality TV Show Since 2021

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh, CNN, always with the doom and gloom! “Layoffs may not be mounting,” they say, but then whine about how…

Baroness Announces ‘Red & Blue Tour – Part II: Electric Boogaloo’
Events, Music News

Baroness Announces ‘Red & Blue Tour – Part II: Electric Boogaloo’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

So, BARONESS, bless their cotton socks, just finished a ‘sold-out’ (sure, Jan 🙄) East Coast tour where they played their…

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