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Tag: Chicago

Iran Streets Boringly Calm After Those Fun Protests, Everyone Go Home
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iran Streets Boringly Calm After Those Fun Protests, Everyone Go Home

Big ElephantJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

While the Fake News Media at CNN tries to paint a picture of “normalcy” in Iran, true patriots know the…

Portland Shooting Sparks Questions About Whether Federal Agents Trained by Watching Too Much TV
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Portland Shooting Sparks Questions About Whether Federal Agents Trained by Watching Too Much TV

Big ElephantJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

Portland Shooting: When Leftist Anarchists Meet Reality and Get Shot In a stunning turn of events that no one saw…

Chicago Shamrock Crawl – Wrigleyville’s St. Patrick’s Day Bar Crawl 25+Bars – Because Who Needs a Liver After March 17
Live

Chicago Shamrock Crawl – Wrigleyville’s St. Patrick’s Day Bar Crawl 25+Bars – Because Who Needs a Liver After March 17

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 9, 2026

The Emerald City of Wrigleyville is under a leprechaun curse this March 17th, forcing locals to abandon their dignity and…

CHARLA TÉCNICA: CÓMO CONVERTIR EL ASILO EN LA NUEVA TEMPORADA DE LA TIRANÍA DE MADURO
Live

CHARLA TÉCNICA: CÓMO CONVERTIR EL ASILO EN LA NUEVA TEMPORADA DE LA TIRANÍA DE MADURO

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 7, 2026

¿Maduro se va? ¡El asilo venezolano en EE.UU. se pone más emocionante que una telenovela! 🍿🇺🇸 El 28 de octubre…

Chicago Singles Bar Crawl – Free Welcome Shots at Every Bar Because You Deserve Liquid Courage to Find Love
Live

Chicago Singles Bar Crawl – Free Welcome Shots at Every Bar Because You Deserve Liquid Courage to Find Love

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

🚨 ATTENTION HUMANS: FREE STUFF AVALANCHE! 🚨 Get $5 in FREE food from DoorDash, $30 from Rakuten, $10 in FREE…

First Bites Bash 2026 or How to Eat Your Way to a Heart Attack in One Night
Live

First Bites Bash 2026 or How to Eat Your Way to a Heart Attack in One Night

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

Chicago’s most absurd celebration of overpriced appetizers launches: First Bites Bash 2026, where chefs bite back, museums bite budgets, and…

Minneapolis Somalis Say They’re Being Harassed, Threatened and Forced Out of Empty Businesses After Fraud Allegations Video
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Minneapolis Somalis Say They’re Being Harassed, Threatened and Forced Out of Empty Businesses After Fraud Allegations Video

Big ElephantJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

Oh, the Left’s new favorite victim: innocent Somali business owners in Minnesota, who’ve suddenly become the target of a nationwide…

Riot! at the Disco: Where Eyeliner Meets Mosh Pit [Chicago]
Live

Riot! at the Disco: Where Eyeliner Meets Mosh Pit [Chicago]

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 3, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Emo Kids Reunite to Scream About Feelings They Still Haven’t Processed 🚨 In a stunning turn of events…

No Excuse Bootcamp: DJ Jukie Tha Kidd Spins Tracks While You Sweat Like a Soggy Burrito
Live

No Excuse Bootcamp: DJ Jukie Tha Kidd Spins Tracks While You Sweat Like a Soggy Burrito

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 3, 2026

The All-Star Game of Fitness™ is here! Chicago’s finest “trainers” unite for ONE GLORIOUS HOUR to solve world hunger, climate…

Jackal Today in 2025: 100 Gigs, 5 Fests, Dozens of Bands & Tons of Booze!
Videos

Jackal Today in 2025: 100 Gigs, 5 Fests, Dozens of Bands & Tons of Booze!

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 29, 2025

What a year! We have been filming this shit for you all across the US and Europe, and it was…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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