Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: David Ellefson

Metal Church Unleashes ‘Brainwash Game’ Single From Their New Album ‘Dead To Rights’—Because Who Needs Free Will Anyway?
Breaking, Music News

Metal Church Unleashes ‘Brainwash Game’ Single From Their New Album ‘Dead To Rights’—Because Who Needs Free Will Anyway?

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

West Coast thrash metal legends METAL CHURCH will release their 13th studio album, “Dead To Rights”, on April 10 via…

W.A.S.P. Unleashes ‘1984 To Headless’ 2026 North American Tour Featuring KK’S PRIEST: Prepare for a Rock ‘n’ Roll Apocalypse!
W.A.S.P. Announces 1984 To Headless Tour With KK'S PRIEST — Because Nothing Says 'Rock Legacy' Like Reliving Your First Four Albums For The 87th Time
Breaking, Live, Music News

W.A.S.P. Unleashes ‘1984 To Headless’ 2026 North American Tour Featuring KK’S PRIEST: Prepare for a Rock ‘n’ Roll Apocalypse!

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Breaking news from the world of “please clap”: W.A.S.P. has announced the “1984 To Headless” 2026 U.S. and Canada Tour…

METAL CHURCH Unleashes Their 13th Studio Album, ‘Dead To Rights’ – Because Who Needs Album 12 Anyway?
Breaking, Music News

METAL CHURCH Unleashes Their 13th Studio Album, ‘Dead To Rights’ – Because Who Needs Album 12 Anyway?

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 6, 2026February 6, 2026

Attention all thrashers, headbangers, and general metal misfits! METAL CHURCH is back with “Dead To Rights” — and no, they…

DAVID ELLEFSON COMPLAINS NEW MEGADETH ALBUM SOUNDS LIKE MEGADETH’S WORST NIGHTMARE: HIMSELF
Oh Look, Dave's Still Mad and Ellefson's Still Talking!
Breaking, Music News

DAVID ELLEFSON COMPLAINS NEW MEGADETH ALBUM SOUNDS LIKE MEGADETH’S WORST NIGHTMARE: HIMSELF

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

So David Ellefson, the guy who got *very* publicly ghosted from Megadeth, is still out here yapping on his podcast…

Pro-Shot Video Of METAL ALLEGIANCE And Their Surprise Guests From MASTODON And SEPULTURA Finally Nail That One Metallica Song You Knew They’d Do
Breaking, Music News

Pro-Shot Video Of METAL ALLEGIANCE And Their Surprise Guests From MASTODON And SEPULTURA Finally Nail That One Metallica Song You Knew They’d Do

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Attention, metalheads and headbangers: A legendary jam session just hit YouTube, and it’s basically a superhero team-up—if superheroes played shred-tastic…

City Of La Vergne Officially Dedicates A Day To Megadeth Because Everyone Knows Rust In Peace Is The Only True Form Of Government
Breaking, Music News

City Of La Vergne Officially Dedicates A Day To Megadeth Because Everyone Knows Rust In Peace Is The Only True Form Of Government

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

🚨BREAKING: The City of La Vergne, Tennessee has officially declared January 17, 2026, as “Megadeth Day,” because nothing screams “thrash…

Dave Mustaine Blames Ex-Megadeth Dude’s Bad Manners For Reunion Fail, World Ends
Breaking, Music News

Dave Mustaine Blames Ex-Megadeth Dude’s Bad Manners For Reunion Fail, World Ends

Chord F. DiscordDecember 6, 2025December 6, 2025

So, Dave Mustaine, bless his cotton socks, is pondering the END of MEGADETH 🙄. Yes, you heard it right, folks!…

SEPULTURA Fires Current Drummer, Hires Back Guy They Fired, Extends Farewell Tour to the Year 3000
Breaking, Music News

SEPULTURA Fires Current Drummer, Hires Back Guy They Fired, Extends Farewell Tour to the Year 3000

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Brazilian/American metallers SEPULTURA, those geriatric rockers who refuse to die, have confirmed that drum prodigy (or victim?) Greyson Nekrutman will…

DAVID ELLEFSON: From Bassist to Trust Fund Baby in One Easy Step
Breaking, Music News

DAVID ELLEFSON: From Bassist to Trust Fund Baby in One Easy Step

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

In a recent interview with the highly intellectual and not-at-all-clickbaity “Brutally Delicious” podcast, ex-MEGADETH bassist David Ellefson (aka Junior, aka…

MEGADETH Announces Final Album in 2026, Followed by a ‘Farewell’ Tour (Until the Next Reunion, That Is)
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Announces Final Album in 2026, Followed by a ‘Farewell’ Tour (Until the Next Reunion, That Is)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

OMG! 😱 DAVE MUSTAINE, the ginger overlord of MEGADETH, has graced us with his infinite wisdom (or maybe he just…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 Next

Latest posts

  • JD Vance thrilled to explain his super normal politics
  • LEGO Offers Free Spooky Set with Last Minute Halloween Decor Buys
  • Billy Corgan Stands By Marilyn Manson Amid Abuse Allegations
  • RFK Jr’s Guy Bails on Trump Admin Over Lunch Disagreements
  • Interpol Teams Up With Deafheaven For 2027 US Tour

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.