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Tag: Family

Alaska Plane Crash Totally Not a Bear Related Incident Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Alaska Plane Crash Totally Not a Bear Related Incident Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a tragic plane crash in Alaska, where a charter plane went down…

Brother begs America to care about sibling stuck in China
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Brother begs America to care about sibling stuck in China

Big ElephantAugust 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. An American scholar, Min Zin, has been detained in China since…

Police Officer’s Killer Also Ran Support Group For Cops
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Police Officer’s Killer Also Ran Support Group For Cops

Big ElephantAugust 20, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this tragic story. A woman named Karen Solomon,…

Oh Joy, More Overhyped Movies and TV Shows to Waste Your Life On – August 18, 2026 – Exit 8, Seven Snipers, Disco Italiana, The Music Machine, The Stranger and a Whole Bunch of Other Stuff You’ll Forget in a Week
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy, More Overhyped Movies and TV Shows to Waste Your Life On – August 18, 2026 – Exit 8, Seven Snipers, Disco Italiana, The Music Machine, The Stranger and a Whole Bunch of Other Stuff You’ll Forget in a Week

FinnAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat this week! 🎉 It’s not like there are any major A-list releases…

Netflix Still Churning Out Content Because You Clearly Need More
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Still Churning Out Content Because You Clearly Need More

FinnAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

September is shaping up to be a big month for Netflix, because of course it is. The streaming giant is…

Great Falls Residents Shocked By Completely Normal Tuesday Stabbing Incident
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Great Falls Residents Shocked By Completely Normal Tuesday Stabbing Incident

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a gruesome murder in Great Falls, Virginia, and I’ve got to say,…

Heavy music cures your sadness now buy the documentary
Breaking, Music News

Heavy music cures your sadness now buy the documentary

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some “Heavy Healing”? 🤯 Because, apparently, millions of people have been begging for…

Nolan Wells Still Dead Investigation Plods Along
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nolan Wells Still Dead Investigation Plods Along

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Nolan Wells should have turned 19 surrounded by a birthday cake,…

Andy Scott Loses Mind Over Fake Sweet Band Because Legacy Matters
Breaking, Music News

Andy Scott Loses Mind Over Fake Sweet Band Because Legacy Matters

Chord F. DiscordAugust 18, 2026August 19, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Andy Scott, guitarist of the legendary rock band SWEET, has gone on a rant…

Lakers Owners Can’t Stop Fighting Over Their Own Team
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lakers Owners Can’t Stop Fighting Over Their Own Team

Big ElephantAugust 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Los Angeles Lakers, one of the most iconic basketball teams…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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