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Tag: Family

Smerconish’s Guide to Staying Clueless
Elephant Reads CNN

Smerconish’s Guide to Staying Clueless

Big ElephantJuly 19, 2025July 19, 2025

Oh, CNN, always digging up the dirt! Smerconish, more like Smear-con-ish, is hyperventilating over a birthday letter Trump supposedly sent…

The Fantastic Four’s First Steps: A Glorified Photo Op at Toronto’s Illuminarium (Free Swag Not Included)
Breaking, Movie News

The Fantastic Four’s First Steps: A Glorified Photo Op at Toronto’s Illuminarium (Free Swag Not Included)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 19, 2025July 19, 2025

Alright, Marvel Zombies, brace yourselves! ðŸĪŠ Marvel Studios Canada, bless their maple-syrup-infused hearts, is throwing a “free” (as if anything’s…

Chevron Triumphs in Hilarious Legal Showdown with Exxon for Hess: A Corporate Comedy in Three Acts
Elephant Reads CNN

Chevron Triumphs in Hilarious Legal Showdown with Exxon for Hess: A Corporate Comedy in Three Acts

Big ElephantJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Chevron’s $53 billion acquisition of Hess has prevailed, which means more American energy independence, despite the deep state’s machinations. Chevron,…

Phil Fasciana’s Lungs Declare War on Malevolent Creation (Pneumonia Strikes Back)!
Breaking, Music News

Phil Fasciana’s Lungs Declare War on Malevolent Creation (Pneumonia Strikes Back)!

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

OMG! ðŸ˜ą Guitarist ðŸŽļ Phil Fasciana of those geriatric Florida 🐊 death metallers 💀 MALEVOLENT CREATION (still around? 😂) has…

Maine Paddleboarder Gets Canceled by Trigger-Happy Cops, Suspect Only 17
Elephant Reads CNN

Maine Paddleboarder Gets Canceled by Trigger-Happy Cops, Suspect Only 17

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Another day, another tragedy in Biden’s America! This time, a woman in Maine was found dead after paddleboarding, and wouldn’t…

GTA 6: Back to Vice City, Baby! But What Old Crap Should They Drag Along?
Breaking, Games News

GTA 6: Back to Vice City, Baby! But What Old Crap Should They Drag Along?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Oh, look, another article about GTA VI.🙄 Twelve years, people! TWELVE YEARS we’ve been waiting for Rockstar to grace us…

Another Hollywood Nepo Baby Sounds Off on Superman Casting, As If We Care
Breaking, Movie News

Another Hollywood Nepo Baby Sounds Off on Superman Casting, As If We Care

FinnJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, dear Lord, another Superman movie? 🙄 Is there really nothing else Hollywood can come up with? Will Reeve, son…

AMC’s 50% Discounts: Saving Hollywood or Just Delaying the Inevitable Doom?
Elephant Reads CNN

AMC’s 50% Discounts: Saving Hollywood or Just Delaying the Inevitable Doom?

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, the poor, struggling movie theaters! Seems like even Hollywood is bowing down to the woke-a-holics, offering discounts just to…

McStolen: Clown Abduction Crisis Grips Nation, Is Nothing Sacred Anymore
Breaking

McStolen: Clown Abduction Crisis Grips Nation, Is Nothing Sacred Anymore

FinnJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

😂 Oh, Tennessee, you never disappoint! ðŸĪĢ Seems like some master criminals ðŸĪĄ decided that the hottest new home decor…

Ex-ICED EARTH Vocalist, Matt Barlow, “Slightly Displeased” By Jon Schaffer’s Vacation Photos From U.S Capitol
Breaking, Music News

Ex-ICED EARTH Vocalist, Matt Barlow, “Slightly Displeased” By Jon Schaffer’s Vacation Photos From U.S Capitol

Chord F. DiscordJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

In a riveting exposÃĐ with Tom Wilson of Australia’s oh-so-credible Sense Music Media, ex-ICED EARTH crooner Matt Barlow was quizzed…

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