EPICA’s Asian Tour Gets the Boot ‘Cause Simone’s Feeling Kinda Meh
OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! EPICA, those symphonic metal darlings who peaked like, a decade ago, are POSTPONING their…
Tag: health
Shutdown Showdown: CNN’s “Exclusive” Behind-the-Scenes Look (as if you even care)
Well, folks, it only took 38 days for the RINOs and Deep State Democrats to start crawling out of the…
CNN: Trump, MAGA, and Stanford Walk Into a Bar and Decide Your Healthcare
Stanford: Breeding Ground for Patriots or Socialist Fifth Column? You Decide! It seems the liberal snowflakes at CNN are melting…
Trump’s Genius Plan: Big Pharma to the Rescue with $149 “Cure” for Your Supersized Self
Folks, your favorite President, Donald J. Trump, is about to make America great (and thin) again! He’s reportedly hammering out…
The Last Caretaker Early Access Preview — Still Loading
Okay, so I stumbled upon The Last Caretaker, and let me tell you, I had *expectations*. Trailers had me thinking…
“Thanks, Obama! Why Your Healthcare Costs Are Now Higher Than Your Rent”
Oh, look, CNN is *shocked* that Obamacare is a disaster! Who could have possibly foreseen that a government takeover of…
Big Pharma and Diaper Dynasty to Merge in $48.7 Billion Deal: Prepare for Explosive Relief and Mess-Free Mourning
Huggies to Buy Tylenol?! Sounds Like a Diaper Rash Cure Conspiracy! Huggies’ maker Kimberly-Clark is buying Tylenol’s parent company Kenvue…
OMG! Trump’s Brain Scan Leaked! (You Won’t BELIEVE What They Found!)
Oh, no! The Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! Our great President Trump, probably the healthiest man ever…
Microsoft AI Overlord: Surrender Your Children, Peasants, Our AI Babysitter Has Arrived
Oh, the horror! The woke mind virus has infected our computers! These so-called “AI Chatbots” are now trying to replace…
Glacier-chasing yachts for clueless tourists, pink ribbons for profit, and pointless step counting: Read our groundbreaking news
👋 Welcome to 5 Things PM! More like 5 Ways the Liberal Media is Trying to Brainwash You! They want…