Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Him

AOC Tries To Ditch Woke Label Because Brunch Is Getting Awkward
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AOC Tries To Ditch Woke Label Because Brunch Is Getting Awkward

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like Democrats are trying to figure out how to…

Civilian or Spy: The untold story of a Russian-born federal contractor killed by the FBI
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Civilian or Spy: The untold story of a Russian-born federal contractor killed by the FBI

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2026

Ilya Beloozerov, a Russian-born American citizen, was killed by the FBI in a hotel parking lot in Hernando, Mississippi. Beloozerov…

Jurors Stumble Upon Something Actually Interesting In DC Trial
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Jurors Stumble Upon Something Actually Interesting In DC Trial

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, there was a trial in Washington’s federal court last month,…

Democrats Unify With Speeches Because That Usually Works
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Unify With Speeches Because That Usually Works

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2026August 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Michigan Democratic Senate nominee Abdul El-Sayed had a “really warm” conversation…

Abuser Accused Rep Still Running Because Why Not Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Abuser Accused Rep Still Running Because Why Not Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Rep. Max Miller is still in the running for his seat…

Anthrax somehow still exists and Darby Todd is drumming now
Breaking, Music News

Anthrax somehow still exists and Darby Todd is drumming now

Chord F. DiscordAugust 9, 2026August 9, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? I mean, I’m not, but I’ll tell you anyway 🙄.…

Patriotism now a competitive youth sport apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Patriotism now a competitive youth sport apparently

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2026

Folks, I just about spit out my coffee reading about the Patriot Games, a new Trump-backed youth competition that’s being…

Prosecution’s Star Witness Also Happens To Be On Trial Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Prosecution’s Star Witness Also Happens To Be On Trial Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the Tupac Shakur murder case, and folks, I almost…

GOP Now Losing Ground In Areas They Used To Own
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Now Losing Ground In Areas They Used To Own

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest polling numbers, and I have to say, it’s a wild…

Trump’s Ballroom Remains Unfinished Because Priorities
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Ballroom Remains Unfinished Because Priorities

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

So, I’m reading this article about President Trump’s White House ballroom project, and I have to say, it’s been a…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 9 10 11 … 132 Next

Latest posts

  • US Army Helicopters Falling From Sky At Record Pace Somehow Still On Budget
  • US Scores Big Win Against Boat Possibly Carrying Drugs
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump restores energy independence and affordability despite blue state sabotage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Iran Parliament Speaker admits severe hunger crisis nationwide
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump predicts midterm election meltdown on Truth Social

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.