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Carpenter’s Kiddo: Cage Rage, Twigs Snaps, and a Jupe Jump in This Bible-Banger Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Carpenter’s Kiddo: Cage Rage, Twigs Snaps, and a Jupe Jump in This Bible-Banger Trailer

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Oh, boy! 🙄 Another Nicolas Cage movie? Seriously? 🤣 This time, he’s playing Joseph in “The Carpenter’s Son.” Yes, THAT…

Hegseth demands woke-free military or GTFO | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Hegseth demands woke-free military or GTFO | CNN Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

The woke military experiment is OVER! Secretary of Defense and total LEGEND Pete Hegseth just told a room full of…

GOP’s Brain Fart, 911 on Hold, and Caviar Dreams on the Subway: CNN’s Daily Dose of WTF
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP’s Brain Fart, 911 on Hold, and Caviar Dreams on the Subway: CNN’s Daily Dose of WTF

Big ElephantSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

👋 Welcome to 5 Things PM! The liberal media’s at it again, folks. This time they’re fawning over a Tina…

CNN Fact Check: Trump Spouts Utter Nonsense to Military Brass, Shocking No One
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Fact Check: Trump Spouts Utter Nonsense to Military Brass, Shocking No One

Big ElephantSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to twist President Trump’s words and make him look bad.…

Delivery Run – Prepare to be Bored: A Frozen Pizza Delivery Nightmare
Breaking, Movie News

Delivery Run – Prepare to be Bored: A Frozen Pizza Delivery Nightmare

FinnSeptember 29, 2025September 29, 2025

Buckle up, buttercups, because Delivery Run is here to redefine “thrilling” – or, you know, maybe just bore you to…

Iowa Gives Schools Superintendent the Boot After ICE Showed Up to the Party and Asked for His Papers LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Iowa Gives Schools Superintendent the Boot After ICE Showed Up to the Party and Asked for His Papers LOL

Big ElephantSeptember 29, 2025September 29, 2025

Another day, another Deep State plant exposed! This time it’s Ian Roberts, the Des Moines school superintendent, who turns out…

Shelby Oaks: Chris Stuckmann’s Masterpiece of Terror (or Maybe Just Another Horror Flick, Who Knows)
Breaking, Movie News

Shelby Oaks: Chris Stuckmann’s Masterpiece of Terror (or Maybe Just Another Horror Flick, Who Knows)

FinnSeptember 29, 2025September 29, 2025

Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because Shelby Oaks is gracing us with its presence! Yes, you heard it right, Shelby Oaks,…

FLOTSAM AND JETSAM Finally Found a Label Dumb Enough to Sign Them; New Album to Grace Our Ears in the Distant Future of 2026
Breaking, Music News

FLOTSAM AND JETSAM Finally Found a Label Dumb Enough to Sign Them; New Album to Grace Our Ears in the Distant Future of 2026

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 29, 2025September 29, 2025

OMG! 😱 Fresh off their ‘successful’ (debatable) European tour, those Arizona thrash metal dinosaurs, FLOTSAM AND JETSAM, have crawled out…

Chad Gray of Mudvayne Reminisces About Vinnie Paul: A Touching Tale of Friendship (and Drum Lessons?)
Breaking, Music News

Chad Gray of Mudvayne Reminisces About Vinnie Paul: A Touching Tale of Friendship (and Drum Lessons?)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

So, Radioactive MikeZ, bless his heart (or whatever’s left of it), managed to wrangle MUDVAYNE’s very own Chad Gray onto…

Rudy “Loose Lips” Giuliani Pays Dominion to Shush About 2020 Election Fables
Elephant Reads CNN

Rudy “Loose Lips” Giuliani Pays Dominion to Shush About 2020 Election Fables

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

Another day, another leftist plot foiled, folks! Rudy Giuliani, a true American patriot, has reached a settlement with Dominion Voting…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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