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Trump to Farmers: Here’s Your $10B ‘Sorry I Started a Trade War’ Gift
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump to Farmers: Here’s Your $10B ‘Sorry I Started a Trade War’ Gift

Big ElephantOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re crying about farmers supposedly having a “tough year” because of President…

Orange Man Says ‘Hold My Diet Coke’ and Sends in the Troops After Judge Tells Him ‘No Take-Backs’ in Portland
Elephant Reads CNN

Orange Man Says ‘Hold My Diet Coke’ and Sends in the Troops After Judge Tells Him ‘No Take-Backs’ in Portland

Big ElephantOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

The radical left is at it again, folks! Our GREAT President Trump is trying to restore order in these Democrat-run…

Dee Snider and Lita Ford Ravage Missouri With Geriatric Rock Show, Locals Pray for Quieter Afterlife
Breaking, Music News

Dee Snider and Lita Ford Ravage Missouri With Geriatric Rock Show, Locals Pray for Quieter Afterlife

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

DEE SNIDER, the mouth that roared (or maybe just squeaked), graced Lita Ford’s stage on Friday, October 3, at The…

Alex Lifeson’s Serbian Roots: From Toronto to Tamburica Triumphs
Breaking, Music News

Alex Lifeson’s Serbian Roots: From Toronto to Tamburica Triumphs

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with the ultra-hip Hear 2 Zen podcast (because who *hasn’t* heard of it?), RUSH guitarist Alex…

Marvel Rivals Season 4.5: Daredevil Throws Himself (and Your Expectations) at October 10
Breaking, Games News

Marvel Rivals Season 4.5: Daredevil Throws Himself (and Your Expectations) at October 10

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round the dumpster fire 🔥 because Marvel Games and NetEase Games, those titans of industry (said no…

ATTENTION! Military temper tantrums, crybaby convention, and a plus-size победитель: CNN’s daily dose of drama
Elephant Reads CNN

ATTENTION! Military temper tantrums, crybaby convention, and a plus-size победитель: CNN’s daily dose of drama

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

👋 Welcome to 5 Things PM! If you’re feeling a little out of whack, it’s probably because the liberal media…

CNN Asks: Trump Promises to Defend Qatar, Is This a Sign of the Apocalypse
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks: Trump Promises to Defend Qatar, Is This a Sign of the Apocalypse

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Oh, fantastic! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom (and likely after a round of golf with some very persuasive Qataris),…

Guillermo Del Toro Resurrects Old News: ‘Frankenstein’ Trailer Finally Drops (Yawn)
Breaking, Movie News

Guillermo Del Toro Resurrects Old News: ‘Frankenstein’ Trailer Finally Drops (Yawn)

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Guillermo del Toro, that dude who’s obsessed with monsters and creepy stuff, is FINALLY making his Frankenstein movie!…

Fallout 76: Walton Goggins Takes Ohio Hostage in Hilarious Bounty Hunt Spree
Breaking, Games News

Fallout 76: Walton Goggins Takes Ohio Hostage in Hilarious Bounty Hunt Spree

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Oh, honey, let’s talk about fame in the Fallout universe. You got your Mr. House, looking like he hasn’t seen…

Marty McFly’s Back: Old Man Scorsese Gets a Docu-Makeover
Breaking, Movie News

Marty McFly’s Back: Old Man Scorsese Gets a Docu-Makeover

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

OMG! 😱 Apple TV+ just dropped a trailer for “Mr. Scorsese,” a five-part docuseries by Rebecca Miller. Five parts?! Is…

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  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 394: Sept. 12, 2026 — 87% Journalism Not Found

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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