Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Him

Dave Mustaine bravely tackles Metallicas Ride The Lightning with vocals that wont shatter glass
Breaking, Music News

Dave Mustaine bravely tackles Metallicas Ride The Lightning with vocals that wont shatter glass

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2026July 14, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious nostalgia and possibly a few eye-rolls? 🙄 Dave Mustaine, the legendary…

RIP Mike Browning because you clearly wanted to read about another dead musician today
Breaking, Music News

RIP Mike Browning because you clearly wanted to read about another dead musician today

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2026

Oh no, the metal world is doomed… or at least that’s what I keep telling myself as I drown my…

Supreme Court Justices Ask Congress For More Money To Feel Safer
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Justices Ask Congress For More Money To Feel Safer

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

I’m sipping on my coffee, and I just can’t help but raise an eyebrow at the latest news from the…

Alex Skolnick Thinks Angus Young Is Good Or Something
Breaking, Music News

Alex Skolnick Thinks Angus Young Is Good Or Something

Chord F. DiscordJuly 13, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some seriously mind-blowing news? 🤯 I just found out that Alex Skolnick, the…

GOP Leaders Suddenly Experts On Conspiracy Theories They Used To Mock
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Leaders Suddenly Experts On Conspiracy Theories They Used To Mock

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like some prominent figures in the conservative and MAGA…

Trump Somehow Manages Not To Veto Russia Sanctions This Time
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Somehow Manages Not To Veto Russia Sanctions This Time

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – it seems President Donald Trump is going to support a…

Bison wins brawl with grandfather at Yellowstone somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bison wins brawl with grandfather at Yellowstone somehow

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2026

So, I’m sitting here sipping my coffee and reading about a guy who got tossed into the air by a…

Capitol Police Bust Guy Who Clearly Didn’t Get the Memo
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Capitol Police Bust Guy Who Clearly Didn’t Get the Memo

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2026

Folks, I was sipping my coffee and scrolling through CNN when I came across this story about a guy getting…

Legendary actor Sam Neill falls prey to mortality’s gameplay mechanic
Breaking, Movie News

Legendary actor Sam Neill falls prey to mortality’s gameplay mechanic

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 13, 2026

Today, the gaming world lost a legend, and I’m not talking about the latest overhyped, live-service game that’s about to…

BILL WARD still whining about Ozzy 40 years later apparently everyone needed this update
Breaking, Music News

BILL WARD still whining about Ozzy 40 years later apparently everyone needed this update

Chord F. DiscordJuly 13, 2026

Oh boy, grab your tissues and get ready for a feels trip, because Bill Ward is talking about his dearly…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 14 15 16 … 118 Next

Latest posts

  • Iran War Turns AI Data Centers Into Super Vulnerable Targets Suddenly
  • U.S. Bans Foreign-Made Humanoid Robots
  • Spain Proudly Announces That Ceuta Is The Fastest-Growing City In The World
  • Jerry Garcia Exhibition Hits The Road As Immersive Tour Experience
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Iran plays dumb as Trump controls Strait of Hormuz

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.