Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: horror

Oh, the Horror! Ukrainians Might Have to Actually, Like, *Leave* the US
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, the Horror! Ukrainians Might Have to Actually, Like, *Leave* the US

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, oh, the Ukrainianity? Seems like these poor souls, ushered in under Biden’s “Uniting…

Redneck Virgin Lands in NYC: Hilarity Ensues
Elephant Reads CNN

Redneck Virgin Lands in NYC: Hilarity Ensues

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Oh, the horror! A Minnesota teen, brainwashed by liberal propaganda in the North Star State, was subjected to the TRUMATIC…

CNN’s Pathetic Attempt to Make You Feel Good: A Preview of People Desperately Seeking Validation
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Pathetic Attempt to Make You Feel Good: A Preview of People Desperately Seeking Validation

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Another day, another ridiculous attempt by the liberal media to distract you from President Trump’s AMAZING work! They want you…

TRON: Ares Gets Another Glorified Ad, Still No Actual Movie
Breaking, Music News

TRON: Ares Gets Another Glorified Ad, Still No Actual Movie

FinnSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Tron: Ares, or as I like to call it, “Tron: Yet Another Reboot Nobody Asked For,” is gracing us with…

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever
Breaking, Movie News

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever

FinnSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 MUBI, the platform for people who pretend to understand arthouse cinema, has graced us with a teaser trailer…

Sebastian Bach Swears on a Stack of Leather Pants He Won’t Let Robots Steal His Screams
Breaking, Music News

Sebastian Bach Swears on a Stack of Leather Pants He Won’t Let Robots Steal His Screams

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sebastian Bach, the vocal gymnast from that band your mom liked, SKID ROW (yeah, that one), has some…

Gamescom 2025: Resident Evil Requiem—Oh Look, Another Zombie Game
Breaking, Games News

Gamescom 2025: Resident Evil Requiem—Oh Look, Another Zombie Game

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

OMG! 😱 Calling Resident Evil Requiem “one of the most anticipated games” is a HUGE stretch. 🙄 After EIGHT years…

Jack Osbourne spills the beans on Ozzy Osbourne’s profound goodbye (or did he?)
Breaking, Music News

Jack Osbourne spills the beans on Ozzy Osbourne’s profound goodbye (or did he?)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

So, Jack Osbourne, bless his little cotton socks, decided to grace us with his presence and tell us all about…

28 Years Later Trailer Drops: More Blood, More Ralph, Still No Cure
Breaking, Movie News

28 Years Later Trailer Drops: More Blood, More Ralph, Still No Cure

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sony Pictures just dropped the lamest trailer EVER for 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple! 🙄 It’s like…

White House desperately tries to convince you Trump’s not a zombie | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

White House desperately tries to convince you Trump’s not a zombie | CNN Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re pushing the narrative that our glorious President Trump is somehow unwell…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 34 35 36 … 64 Next

Latest posts

  • Slipknot Orders Trump To Stop Using Their Masks During Rallies
  • Because One Party Wasnt Enough Lets Keep it Going with the PHIRST PHAM COOKOUT OFFICIAL AFTERPARTY
  • Because You Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do Than Attend the PHirst Pham Cookout Official Afterparty
  • Joyeux désastre pour les professionnels étrangers qui veulent travailler au Québec avec une paperasseAdministrative infernale à l’OIQ
  • Comics That Became Franchises Because Who Needs Original Ideas Anyway

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}