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Tag: horror

**Uh Oh! Black Unemployment Rate Climbs to a Dizzying Height (for 2022 Standards)**
Elephant Reads CNN

**Uh Oh! Black Unemployment Rate Climbs to a Dizzying Height (for 2022 Standards)**

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, folks! Apparently, Black unemployment ticked up to 6.8% last month. You know…

SLAYER’s Back From The Grave (Again!) Cardiff Gets Rained In Blood (Literally)
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER’s Back From The Grave (Again!) Cardiff Gets Rained In Blood (Literally)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

OMG! SLAYER, those “retired” thrash metal legends (air quotes for dramatic effect), graced us with their presence at Blackweir Fields…

Oops! They Used a Nazi Law to Maybe Kick Out More Americans!
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! They Used a Nazi Law to Maybe Kick Out More Americans!

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to smear our glorious President Trump! They’re clutching their pearls over…

White House Attempts to Calm Down Big Business’s Fear of Losing Cheap Labor Due to Deportations, Says CNN (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

White House Attempts to Calm Down Big Business’s Fear of Losing Cheap Labor Due to Deportations, Says CNN (LOL)

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another day, another crisis manufactured by the liberal media! CNN is hyperventilating because President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is…

Gamification: How Digital Media Will Enslave Customers by 2025
Breaking, Games News

Gamification: How Digital Media Will Enslave Customers by 2025

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, gamification, the buzzword that refuses to die. It’s not just badges and points anymore, oh no. In the futuristic…

GFN Thursday: GeForce NOW Yeets 20 Games Including Little Nightmares III (But Who’s Counting)
Breaking, Games News

GFN Thursday: GeForce NOW Yeets 20 Games Including Little Nightmares III (But Who’s Counting)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Okay, so apparently, it’s 2025, and NVIDIA GeForce NOW is still a thing? 🤣 Who knew? I thought cloud gaming…

Character AI’s New Overlord Has a Totally Believable Plan to Keep Your Precious Little Darlings from Becoming Chatbot Addicts
Elephant Reads CNN

Character AI’s New Overlord Has a Totally Believable Plan to Keep Your Precious Little Darlings from Becoming Chatbot Addicts

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN reports that some tech guru named Karandeep Anand is now the CEO of Character.AI, a platform…

20 states throw hissy fit after Trump admin yeets Medicaid data to deportation squad
Elephant Reads CNN

20 states throw hissy fit after Trump admin yeets Medicaid data to deportation squad

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

The Socialist States of Kalifornia, Ill-Annoy, and Commie DC are at it again, whining about President Trump daring to enforce…

White House to replace Jen Psaki with interpretive dance
Elephant Reads CNN

White House to replace Jen Psaki with interpretive dance

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh, the horror! Now the radical Left wants to force our glorious President Trump to provide American Sign Language interpreters…

Clawfinger Drops New Single ‘Scum’ – Because Apparently, Trump’s Still Living Rent-Free in Their Heads
Breaking, Music News

Clawfinger Drops New Single ‘Scum’ – Because Apparently, Trump’s Still Living Rent-Free in Their Heads

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

OMG! CLAWFINGER, those geriatric Swedish rap-metal dudes, just dropped a music video for their new single, “Scum”. 🙄 Apparently, it’s…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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