Ah, “Dead Lover,” another gem 💎 from the Midnight Madness collection, or as I like to call it, the “What Were They Thinking?” section. With a cast smaller than my social circle 🧑🤝🧑 and sets that look like they raided a thrift store’s clearance bin 🗑️, Grace Glowicki (who apparently does everything but the catering 🍕) gives us her take on Frankenstein. And by “take,” I mean a fever dream 🤪 after eating too much cheese 🧀.
Directed by Grace Glowicki
Starring Grace Glowicki, Leah Doz, Lowen Morrow, Ben Petrie
The Gravedigger (Glowicki, sporting makeup that would scare a raccoon 🦝 and facial expressions wilder than a rollercoaster 🎢) is, get this, lonely 🥺. Seems like digging up corpses 💀 for a living isn’t the best dating strategy. Even the priest 🧔 with his holy water 💦 asks her to social distance. So, what’s a gravedigger to do when Tinder 📱 isn’t an option?
She hits the books 📚! Yes, because that’s what lonely, stinky gravediggers do. She tries to mask the “eau de corpse” with…concoctions. I’m picturing a mix of formaldehyde and discount perfume 🤮. But wait! There’s hope! During the burial of The Widower’s wife (played by Lowen Morrow, channeling his inner goth 🦇), The Poet (Ben Petrie) runs into the Deep Dark Woods 🌳, because that’s where all poets go to cry, right? A wolf 🐺 attacks, because nature is dramatic. The Gravedigger saves him, and instead of running away screaming from her stench, he’s…intoxicated? Apparently, wallowing in scandal wasn’t enough; he needed a woman who smells like a cemetery. They pledge eternal love 💖. I’m already predicting a messy breakup 💔.
But plot twists! True love, or whatever this is, never runs smooth, even in a “horror-comedy” (I use the term loosely). The Poet goes on a voyage to, ahem, restore his naughty bits 🍆 (because apparently, that’s a thing in this movie). Shipwreck 🚢! He’s lost! Only his finger ☝️ with the ring makes it back, thanks to a group of fishermen 🎣 with accents so thick, you’d need a translator. The Gravedigger, because she clearly has no other hobbies, decides to rebuild her lover from the finger 🦴. Cue “partial success” – and I’m picturing something out of a B-movie gone wrong. So, what does she do? Digs up more bodies 🪦! Because that’s the logical next step 🧠.
The low-fi sets 🧸 and “sheer sense of fun” (read: desperation to distract from the budget) were…something. Glowicki sent a video message 🤳 (pregnant 🤰 and probably regretting her life choices) telling everyone not to think too hard. Solid advice, honestly. If you found “Hundreds of Beavers” funny 😂 (and I’m questioning your taste if you did), you might tolerate this. It’s low budget, sure, but with “invention” (again, I use the term loosely) and a small group “trying to have fun” (jury’s still out on that one). I’m giving it two thumbs down 👍👎, but hey, at least it’s…unique? 🤷
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
