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Tag: horror

AMC to Cram Even MORE Ads Down Your Throat Starting Today
Elephant Reads CNN

AMC to Cram Even MORE Ads Down Your Throat Starting Today

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Oh, the horror! More ads at the movies? This is what happens when you let the woke mob run Hollywood!…

Wolfie’s New Album: So Fresh, It’s Basically Still in Diapers
Breaking, Music News

Wolfie’s New Album: So Fresh, It’s Basically Still in Diapers

Chord F. DiscordJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

In a riveting exposé with Ronni Hunter from the intellectual powerhouse known as 99.7 The Blitz, Wolfgang Van Halen, the…

Ukraine’s Foreign Ministry Spokesperson Says Terror Scale Now Bigger Than Ever, Must Be Seen to Be Believed
Elephant Reads CNN

Ukraine’s Foreign Ministry Spokesperson Says Terror Scale Now Bigger Than Ever, Must Be Seen to Be Believed

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, the horror! The Ukrainian Foreign Ministry is hyperventilating again about Russia. Apparently, the “scale of terror is growing.” You…

Slipknot, Lamb of God, and Anthrax Members Spotted at ‘Comic Con Birmingham’ – Metalheads Gone Wild
Live

Slipknot, Lamb of God, and Anthrax Members Spotted at ‘Comic Con Birmingham’ – Metalheads Gone Wild

Chord F. DiscordJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Monopoly Events, those purveyors of slightly-less-disappointing-than-expected fan gatherings in the U.K., are thrilled to announce the launch of Comic Con…

Republicans brace for savage ad blitz over Trump’s “big, beautiful bill”—more like a big, beautiful blunder, amirite
Elephant Reads CNN

Republicans brace for savage ad blitz over Trump’s “big, beautiful bill”—more like a big, beautiful blunder, amirite

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is reporting that President Trump’s landmark policy bill is facing a “ferocious advertising campaign.” Translation: Patriots…

Nintendo Switch 2: Must-Have Crap You’ll Probably Buy Anyway
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Switch 2: Must-Have Crap You’ll Probably Buy Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Ah, the Nintendo Switch 2 is finally here! 🎉 Or… is it? 🤔 Well, let’s pretend it is, because what’s…

Cancerslug in Asheville, NC (06/28/2025)
Videos

Cancerslug in Asheville, NC (06/28/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyJune 29, 2025

Horror Punk and Gothic/Death Rock from Huntsville, Alabama! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as…

Newsom Sues Fox News for Reporting on That Totally Not Awkward Trump Call
Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom Sues Fox News for Reporting on That Totally Not Awkward Trump Call

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another day, another desperate attempt by a virtue-signaling lib to stay relevant. Gavin Newsom, the…

Diddy’s Drama: Key Dirt and Receipts from the Trial
Elephant Reads CNN

Diddy’s Drama: Key Dirt and Receipts from the Trial

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Oh, the horror! Diddy, that paragon of woke culture, is in trouble? I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that all…

ZETRO the Party Pooper: Fired for Being a Debbie Downer in EXODUS, Claims Gary Holt
Breaking, Music News

ZETRO the Party Pooper: Fired for Being a Debbie Downer in EXODUS, Claims Gary Holt

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

So, EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt, bless his little heart, did an interview with some Serbian journalist, Jadranka Janković Nešić (who?),…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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