Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: ICE

Justice Department Weighs Charges Against ICE Officer Because Accountability Matters Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Justice Department Weighs Charges Against ICE Officer Because Accountability Matters Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the latest developments in the case of Christian Castro, the Immigration and…

Trump’s Wall Builds Barrier to Justice, Not Drugs Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Wall Builds Barrier to Justice, Not Drugs Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Department of Homeland Security’s decision to pull additional federal agents…

ICE-T States The Blindingly Obvious About US Being A Dumpster Fire
Breaking, Music News

ICE-T States The Blindingly Obvious About US Being A Dumpster Fire

Chord F. DiscordAugust 24, 2026August 24, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some more Body Count? 😂 Because, apparently, Ice-T and Ernie C are already…

Hoosiers Still Waiting for Power Because Storms are the Worst
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hoosiers Still Waiting for Power Because Storms are the Worst

Big ElephantAugust 20, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the devastating storms in northwest Indiana, where tens of thousands of people…

ICE Sells Insurance to Cops Who Might Get Sued
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Sells Insurance to Cops Who Might Get Sued

Big ElephantAugust 17, 2026

I was sipping my coffee and reading the news when I stumbled upon this article about US Immigration and Customs…

Desperate Family Turns to Psychics Because That’s Going Great Historically
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Desperate Family Turns to Psychics Because That’s Going Great Historically

Big ElephantAugust 16, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A 15-year-old girl named Sophie Reeder has been missing for over…

Feds Spying on Minnesota Progressives Because Who Needs Privacy Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Feds Spying on Minnesota Progressives Because Who Needs Privacy Anyway

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Federal agents launched a sweeping undercover surveillance operation targeting progressive organizations,…

Paul Mazurkiewicz Worried He Might Have To Get Real Job Soon
Breaking, Music News

Paul Mazurkiewicz Worried He Might Have To Get Real Job Soon

Chord F. DiscordAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

I just stumbled upon an interview with Paul Mazurkiewicz, the drummer for Cannibal Corpse, and I’m shocked – SHOCKED! –…

ICE Agent Totally Not Overreacts With Gun
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Agent Totally Not Overreacts With Gun

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A woman in Northern Virginia got into a confrontation with Immigration…

ICE Drops $20 Million on Shocking Fashion Statement Gloves
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Drops $20 Million on Shocking Fashion Statement Gloves

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents may soon be equipped with…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 … 37 Next

Latest posts

  • Turnstile Scores Big With Five Guys Feature
  • CEO Urges Caution in AI Arms Race Because That’s Working Great So Far
  • Bon Iver Sings Jingle for Minnesota Eatery Featuring Meatloaf Dippers
  • GOP Lawyers Clash Over Unworkable Trump Voting Rules
  • Ocean Way Festival Canceled Due to Beach Damage

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.