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Tag: Internet

15 jaar GoldRepublic en een gouden toekomst die glanst als een nepketting
Events

15 jaar GoldRepublic en een gouden toekomst die glanst als een nepketting

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 9, 2025

GoldRepublic viert 15 kaarsjes en roept de goud-apocalyps live op internet πŸŽ‰πŸͺ™ Op 9 december is Theater Amsterdam het toneel…

“Skip the Vacation, Your Robot Overlords Won’t Train Themselves”
Events

“Skip the Vacation, Your Robot Overlords Won’t Train Themselves”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 7, 2025

Over 250 suckers have RSVPed to this AI snoozefest! πŸŽ‰ The holidays are *perfect* for learning how to replace your…

The Crown (Sweden) Announces 87-Date ‘Farewell’ Tour in 2026 to Prove They Still Exist
Events, Music News

The Crown (Sweden) Announces 87-Date ‘Farewell’ Tour in 2026 to Prove They Still Exist

Chord F. DiscordDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! THE CROWN, those Swedish death/thrash metal dinosaurs πŸ¦•, are finally calling it quits! After…

Jason Bateman Humiliated by Furries Obsessed With Cartoon Fox
Breaking, Movie News

Jason Bateman Humiliated by Furries Obsessed With Cartoon Fox

FinnNovember 30, 2025November 30, 2025

Jason Bateman, bless his heart, is *vaguely* aware that you exist, you degenerate furries, and that some of you are…

Limp Bizkit Still Alive, Plays Show After Some Dude Kicks the Bucket
Breaking, Music News

Limp Bizkit Still Alive, Plays Show After Some Dude Kicks the Bucket

Chord F. DiscordNovember 30, 2025November 30, 2025

LIMP BIZKIT, those purveyors of fine nu-metal and questionable fashion choices, graced the stage in Mexico City on Saturday night…

LINKIN PARK’s Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell Thinks Comeback’s a Smash Hit, Says Gigs Didn’t Suck Too Bad
Breaking, Music News

LINKIN PARK’s Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell Thinks Comeback’s a Smash Hit, Says Gigs Didn’t Suck Too Bad

Chord F. DiscordNovember 30, 2025November 30, 2025

Yo, what up, fellow numb-nuts? πŸ‘‹ It’s your boy, Dave “Phoenix” Farrell, here to drop some truth bombs about LINKIN…

Netflix’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ Finds Its Poor Soul, Set to Film in Pizza Land
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Netflix’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ Finds Its Poor Soul, Set to Film in Pizza Land

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Oh, great, another Assassin’s Creed adaptation! πŸ™„ Because the movie wasn’t a colossal dumpster fire πŸ”₯ enough, Netflix has decided…

Sex Pistols (feat geriatric Frank Carter) Announce ’50 Years Of Punk (lol)’ Celebration Shows For Summer 2026 (if they’re still alive)
Breaking, Music News

Sex Pistols (feat geriatric Frank Carter) Announce ’50 Years Of Punk (lol)’ Celebration Shows For Summer 2026 (if they’re still alive)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

🚨 Breaking News! 🚨 The SEX PISTOLS, now featuring the punk rock god Frank Carter (because, let’s face it, someone…

Slender Woman Gets Lost in Wisconsin: A Comedy of Errors
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Slender Woman Gets Lost in Wisconsin: A Comedy of Errors

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another feel-good story courtesy of the liberal loony bin. A woman, coddled by our “justice”…

Silent Hill 2 Remake on Xbox: Now You Too Can Experience Existential Dread for 10% Off
Breaking, Games News

Silent Hill 2 Remake on Xbox: Now You Too Can Experience Existential Dread for 10% Off

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Behold, peasants! Silent Hill 2, the game you’ve all been pretending to care about, has FINALLY graced the glorious Xbox…

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Latest posts

  • British Government Gives Religious Exemption For Suicide Vests
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  • ‘Disclosure Day’ Causes Audiences To Question Their Faith In Steven Spielberg
  • King Solomon Admits He May Have Plagiarized β€˜Nothing New Under The Sun’
  • COAL CHAMBER Drummer MIKEY COX Because One Cancer Surgery Just Wasn’t Enough Apparently

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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