US Tariff Tantrum on European Cars: Paused for Dramatic Effect
Oh, CNN is reporting on trade agreements now? Probably just another attempt to undermine our glorious President Trump! They whine…
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Trump Gets a Get-Out-of-Fraud-Free Card From NY Court
Ok. Here is the news rewritten in a satirical, mocking, trolling, and funny manner from a conservative Republican, a fan…
Hollow Knight: Silksong Drops Soon (Maybe), After Just a Casual 6 Years of Radio Silence
Get ready, folks, because Team Cherry, those mythical beings who’ve been promising us Hollow Knight: Silksong since the dawn of…
Sony Screws Over US Gamers with Greedy PS5 Price Hike Because Reasons
Sony is bending the knee to the glorious Trump Tariffs! They’re raising PlayStation prices because of the President’s brilliant plan…
Delta’s 737 decides to shed some weight mid-air, blames turbulence
Oh, great, another day, another crisis, probably manufactured by the Deep State to make President Trump look bad. Now, a…
Gabbard to Intel Agencies: You Get Nothing! You Lose! Good Day, Sir!
Another Deep State Swamp Creature Bites the Dust! Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, a true patriot, is fearlessly draining…
OMG! Food Bloggers Almost Became Food Themselves, Thanks to a Rogue SUV
Oh, the horror! These delicate “food bloggers” almost had their avocado toast interrupted by a rogue SUV! I bet the…
‘Archie’ Movie: Universal’s Latest Attempt to Milk Nostalgia Dry
OMG! 🙄 Archie is getting a MOVIE?! 🎬 Like, who even asked for this? 🤷♀️ Is Hollywood seriously out of…
Texas Schools Get a Hall Pass on Bible Bling, Says Some Dude in a Robe
Another day, another assault on our Judeo-Christian values by the radical Left! Some activist judge, probably a card-carrying member of…
Breaking News: Kansas Hires Some Dude With a Guitar, World Panics
OMG! 😱😱😱 You guys will NOT believe this! KANSAS, yes, THE KANSAS, has apparently decided that their sound wasn’t generic…