Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: metalcore

Architects FINALLY Snag a No 1 Hit After Only, Like, a Billion Years
Breaking, Music News

Architects FINALLY Snag a No 1 Hit After Only, Like, a Billion Years

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 24, 2025September 24, 2025

ARCHITECTS, those oh-so-humble lads from across the pond, have finally stumbled their way to a U.S. Active Rock Radio No.…

Miss May I? More Like Miss May Cry: New Single ‘Pray For Silence’ Is Out Now (Prepare to Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

Miss May I? More Like Miss May Cry: New Single ‘Pray For Silence’ Is Out Now (Prepare to Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

MISS MAY I, those stalwarts of Ohio metalcore that you *totally* remember from 2010, are STILL churning out “music.” Yes,…

The Devil Wears Prada Drops ‘Flowers’ Album: Prepare for Floralcore, You Heathens
Breaking, Music News

The Devil Wears Prada Drops ‘Flowers’ Album: Prepare for Floralcore, You Heathens

Chord F. DiscordAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, those elder statesmen of Hot Topic metalcore, are apparently still at it! 👴🏻 They’re gracing us…

Sharon den Adel Sells Out: From Gothic Goddess to Pop Princess
Breaking, Music News

Sharon den Adel Sells Out: From Gothic Goddess to Pop Princess

Chord F. DiscordAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

In an interview with Paolo Phoenix of Magenta TV at Wacken Open Air, Sharon Den Adel of WITHIN TEMPTATION was…

Parkway Drive in Charlotte, NC (07/27/2025) — Summer of Loud Tour 2025
Videos

Parkway Drive in Charlotte, NC (07/27/2025) — Summer of Loud Tour 2025

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 27, 2025

Metalcore from Australia! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is…

Hatebreed in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025
Videos

Hatebreed in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 24, 2025

Metalcore/hardcore from Bridgeport, Connecticut! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…

FIT FOR A KING Dumps New Track ‘Witness The End’ Featuring EMO KING Chris Motionless
Breaking, Music News

FIT FOR A KING Dumps New Track ‘Witness The End’ Featuring EMO KING Chris Motionless

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2025July 19, 2025

FIT FOR A KING, those metalcore majesties (said no one ever 🙄), have graced us with a music video for…

WE CAME AS ROMANS Announce ‘All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed’ Album, Probably Still Doomed Though, Share ‘Culture Wound’ Single (Prepare for More Wounds)
Breaking, Music News

WE CAME AS ROMANS Announce ‘All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed’ Album, Probably Still Doomed Though, Share ‘Culture Wound’ Single (Prepare for More Wounds)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

OMG 😱, the metalcore overlords, WE CAME AS ROMANS, are gracing us with their presence AGAIN! Their new album, dramatically…

Heimat: Because Where Else Would You Pretend to Be From?
Breaking, Music News

Heimat: Because Where Else Would You Pretend to Be From?

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2025June 24, 2025

HEAVEN SHALL BURN, those guys? Oh, you mean the German band that thinks they’re, like, totally important? 😂 Yeah, they’re…

Textures Drop New Single: ‘Closer To The Unknown’ (Like We Didn’t See That Coming)
Breaking, Music News

Textures Drop New Single: ‘Closer To The Unknown’ (Like We Didn’t See That Coming)

Chord F. DiscordJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

Kscope, the label known for its cutting-edge… uh… *prog*, has apparently signed TEXTURES. Yes, TEXTURES. The band you maybe vaguely…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 5 6 7 8 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump restores energy independence and affordability despite blue state sabotage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Iran Parliament Speaker admits severe hunger crisis nationwide
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump predicts midterm election meltdown on Truth Social
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump delivers energy independence and affordability despite democrat sabotage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social August 24 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.