Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: money

Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse
🚨 BREAKING: Disney Just Sold Its Soul to OpenAI for $1 Billion and a High-Five from Sam Altman 🙌💸
Breaking, Movie News

Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry (and probably a few existential crises through the animatronic…

KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026
Breaking, Music News

KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

GERMAN METAL TITANS KREATOR DESCEND UPON AMERICA LIKE A HORDE OF ENRAGED BAVARIAN WEREWOLVES WITH A NEW ALBUM CALLED ‘KRUSHERS…

Trump to Host Magical Money Cornfield Roundtable, Promises $12 Billion in Government-Free Government Aid
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump to Host Magical Money Cornfield Roundtable, Promises $12 Billion in Government-Free Government Aid

Big ElephantDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

In a move that has Democrats clutching their soy lattes, President Donald J. Trump is rolling out a $12 billion…

First Official Game Based On The Boys Finally Lets You Live Out Your Superhero Fantasies (And By That We Mean Getting Exploded By Homelander)
Breaking, Games News

First Official Game Based On The Boys Finally Lets You Live Out Your Superhero Fantasies (And By That We Mean Getting Exploded By Homelander)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

🐄 Holy Cow! The Boys Are Back—And This Time, They’re in VR So You Can Virtually Puke from Blood, Gore,…

“OPIUM NIGHTCLUB SATURDAYS – WHERE BROKE ‘HIPHOP HEADS’ PRETEND THEY’RE ON THE GUEST LIST FOR THE #1 PARTY NOBODY ACTUALLY WANTS TO PAY FOR”
Events

“OPIUM NIGHTCLUB SATURDAYS – WHERE BROKE ‘HIPHOP HEADS’ PRETEND THEY’RE ON THE GUEST LIST FOR THE #1 PARTY NOBODY ACTUALLY WANTS TO PAY FOR”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

TRAP & R&B NIGHT: WHERE MIDTOWN’S “FINEST” COME TO VIBE (OR CRINGE) 🎵💀 THIS EVENT PROMISES THE “BEST” TRAP &…

“How to Lose Money Faster Than a Speeding Bitcoin: Grab This ‘Free’ Crypto Futures ‘Masterclass’ Before the SEC Shuts It Down”
Events

“How to Lose Money Faster Than a Speeding Bitcoin: Grab This ‘Free’ Crypto Futures ‘Masterclass’ Before the SEC Shuts It Down”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

🚀 Tired of losing your life savings to crypto like it’s a slot machine? 🎰 Join *Cliff “The Philanthropist”* (yes,…

SOL Shogunate Unveiled At The PC Gaming Show: Prepare To Be Mildly Interested
Breaking, Games News

SOL Shogunate Unveiled At The PC Gaming Show: Prepare To Be Mildly Interested

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

Breaking News: Some Random Studio Thinks They Can Make a Samurai Game in Space 😂. Chaos Manufacturing (never heard of…

‘Men in Black’ Reboot: Because Hollywood Has ZERO Original Ideas
Breaking, Movie News

‘Men in Black’ Reboot: Because Hollywood Has ZERO Original Ideas

FinnDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

Hold onto your Neuralyzers, folks, because the cinematic overlords at Sony Pictures are reportedly cooking up another Men in Black…

ADAM GONTIER on THREE DAYS GRACE’s Tag-Team Vocals: “The Fans Deserved This Circus”
Breaking, Music News

ADAM GONTIER on THREE DAYS GRACE’s Tag-Team Vocals: “The Fans Deserved This Circus”

Chord F. DiscordDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Estonia’s AlteRock, the dynamic duo of THREE DAYS GRACE – Adam Gontier and Matt Walst…

From Gold Medal to Jail Cell: This Snowboarder’s Wild Ride to the FBI’s Most Wanted List
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

From Gold Medal to Jail Cell: This Snowboarder’s Wild Ride to the FBI’s Most Wanted List

Big ElephantDecember 6, 2025December 6, 2025

Another snowflake melts into a puddle of liberal tears! Former Olympian Ryan Wedding, who probably voted for Biden, is now…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 44 45 46 … 129 Next

Latest posts

  • Devil May Cry Remake Because The Original Wasn’t Already Perfect And Didn’t Deserve To Be Left Alone
  • OZZY OSBOURNE’s Super Gross Throne That He Probably Peed On A Few Times To Be Glorified At Birmingham Museum & Art Gallery Like It’s A Real Historical Artifact Or Something
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Plate of Jollof Rice You’ve Ever Had at Atlanta African Restaurant Week Festival 2026
  • Get Ready to Wine and Pretend You’re a Sophisticated Adult in San Diego’s Upcoming Wine Crawl
  • Oh Joy Another Pokémon Reboot: Theagonizingly Long Wait for Sirfetch’d and Pichu’s Underwhelming Stop-Motion Disaster to Finally Drop in 2027 Maybe

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}