Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • The Jackal Index
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: money

Big Pharma Spends Scrooge McDuck Money on U.S. Factories, Still Can’t Magically Undo Trump’s Tariff Tantrums
Elephant Reads CNN

Big Pharma Spends Scrooge McDuck Money on U.S. Factories, Still Can’t Magically Undo Trump’s Tariff Tantrums

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

The liberal media is at it again, trying to downplay President Trump’s HUGE win for American manufacturing! CNN is reporting…

Itch.io Backtracks Like a Drunk Snail, Unhides the Naughty Bits (But Still Keeps Your Wallet Safe)
Breaking, Games News

Itch.io Backtracks Like a Drunk Snail, Unhides the Naughty Bits (But Still Keeps Your Wallet Safe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, the drama! 🍿 Our beloved indie game haven, Itch.io, decided to play hide-and-seek with the naughty bits last week,…

Batman Returns (and promptly leaves because who wants to see that again)
Breaking, Movie News

Batman Returns (and promptly leaves because who wants to see that again)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, great, more Batman 🦇. As if we needed another reason to relive the glory days of the late ’80s…

Another One Bites the Dust: Fed Governor Flees, MAGA Minion to Fill the Void | CNN (Comically Negligible News) Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Another One Bites the Dust: Fed Governor Flees, MAGA Minion to Fill the Void | CNN (Comically Negligible News) Business

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, joy! Another Deep State operative bites the dust! Adriana Kugler, hand-picked by Sleepy Joe himself, is hightailing it out…

Nuremberg: Witness Rusty Crowe, Random Malek, and Mike Shannon in a Sneak Peek of the Nuremberg LOLs
Breaking

Nuremberg: Witness Rusty Crowe, Random Malek, and Mike Shannon in a Sneak Peek of the Nuremberg LOLs

FinnJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

This forty-second teaser trailer reveals Academy Award® winner Russell Crowe’s performance as Hermann Göring in this thought-provoking historical drama for…

The Fed MIGHT Cut Rates Later This Year (LOL). Here’s How to Squeeze Every Last Penny From Your Savings Before They Do (Good Luck With That) | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

The Fed MIGHT Cut Rates Later This Year (LOL). Here’s How to Squeeze Every Last Penny From Your Savings Before They Do (Good Luck With That) | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

The liberal Federal Reserve, still trying to undermine President Trump’s booming economy, has decided to “hold steady” on interest rates.…

Shinedown: Oh Look, Another Single in October, Album Number Eight Coming in November, Yawn
Breaking, Music News

Shinedown: Oh Look, Another Single in October, Album Number Eight Coming in November, Yawn

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

In a groundbreaking, earth-shattering, Pulitzer Prize-worthy interview with The Mistress Carrie Podcast (never heard of it), SHINEDOWN frontman Brent Smith…

CNN Minus 3: A “Very Special” Summer We Wish We Could Take Back | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Minus 3: A “Very Special” Summer We Wish We Could Take Back | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Folks, CNN10 is at it again, pushing their globalist, socialist agenda to brainwash our kids! Coy, probably a closet liberal,…

Is This the Dawn of Digital VIP Loyalty or Just Another Overhyped Fad?
Breaking, Games News

Is This the Dawn of Digital VIP Loyalty or Just Another Overhyped Fad?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Oh, honey, listen up! 💅 Apparently, online entertainment platforms are *totally* over those basic loyalty programs. They’re now building these…

Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)
Breaking, Music News

Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

So, like, METALLICA is STILL trying to be relevant by partnering with the American Red Cross. Because apparently, headbanging isn’t…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 92 93 94 … 134 Next

Latest posts

  • Jack White Saves Twin Temple From Tour Ejection with New Gig
  • Huey Lewis Steps Away From Music Scene Completely Now
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 10 2026
  • King Adaptation And Jennifer Garner Film Hit Streaming This Week
  • Anthrax still exists somehow releases new music video

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}