‘Minecraft Movie’ Sequel Officially Plaguing Theaters in 2027
OMG! 😱 The biggest cinematic masterpiece 🎬 of our generation, A Minecraft Movie, raked in a measly $423.9 million in…
Tag: movies
Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys
ICE NINE KILLS, those maestros of musical mayhem, 🤡 invite you to “dance with the devil in the pale moonlight”…
Andrew Garfield “Teases” Possible Spider-Man Comeback (Again?!) in the Year 2027 (Maybe, Possibly, If You Really, Really Beg)
🤣Oh, look, it’s Andrew Garfield, still pretending he doesn’t know if he’s going to be in Avengers: Secret Wars. As…
Oh No! Another Happy Haunting Gone Horribly Wrong
OMG! 😱 A woman DIED 💀 on the Haunted Mansion?! Like, seriously? Did she not read the fine print about…
TMNT Does a ‘Home Alone’ Bit? Cowabunga, I Guess
Oh, sweet merciful pepperoni! 🍕 The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, those pizza-guzzling, sewer-dwelling reptiles, are apparently slumming it in New…
CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve Won a Piece of Useless Paper Signed by Some Dude
OMG! 🙄 Another washed-up has-been trying to claw their way back into the spotlight? 🤮 We get it, Orlando Bloom,…
Zero Lounge: Where the Only Thing Scarier Than the Movies is the Tab
**Zero Lounge is showcasing utter cinematic masterpieces every Sunday in October! 👻🍸 Prepare for earth-shattering horror (or not) during Happy…
Zero Lounge: Where Nightmares Meet Happy Hour (and Cheap Drinks)
**Zero Lounge proudly presents: “Horror” Movie Happy Hour!😱🍸 Every Sunday in October. Prepare for cinematic masterpieces like “Halloweentown”🎃.** 📅 Lineup:…
ATTENTION! Military temper tantrums, crybaby convention, and a plus-size победитель: CNN’s daily dose of drama
👋 Welcome to 5 Things PM! If you’re feeling a little out of whack, it’s probably because the liberal media…
Guillermo Del Toro Resurrects Old News: ‘Frankenstein’ Trailer Finally Drops (Yawn)
OMG! 🙄 Guillermo del Toro, that dude who’s obsessed with monsters and creepy stuff, is FINALLY making his Frankenstein movie!…