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Tag: News

The Bear Gets Another Season: Disney+ Milking It For All It’s Worth
Breaking, Movie News

The Bear Gets Another Season: Disney+ Milking It For All It’s Worth

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh, sweet baby Carmy! 🐻🔪 FX just HAD to announce that The Bear is getting a fifth season. Like we…

Oasis Milks (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? for 30th Anniversary Cash Grab
Breaking, Music News

Oasis Milks (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? for 30th Anniversary Cash Grab

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oasis, those purveyors of slightly-above-average Britpop, have announced details of deluxe formats of (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? to celebrate the album…

Nintendo Accidentally Reveals Switch 2 Sales Projections, Claims It Was Just a Typo, LOL
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Accidentally Reveals Switch 2 Sales Projections, Claims It Was Just a Typo, LOL

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh, the Nintendo Switch 2, that little plastic box of dreams (and crushing debt for your parents). Apparently, it was…

“Our Secrets Are The Same,” Yawn, Said Jim Kerr and Charlie Burchill, As If We Care
Breaking

“Our Secrets Are The Same,” Yawn, Said Jim Kerr and Charlie Burchill, As If We Care

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Our Secrets Are The Same is supposedly a “remarkable” joint memoir by Simple Minds founding members Jim Kerr and Charlie…

Columbia Bribes US News with $9M to Reclaim Fake Ranking
Elephant Reads CNN

Columbia Bribes US News with $9M to Reclaim Fake Ranking

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh, the tangled web these liberal elites weave! Columbia University, a breeding ground for radical leftists, has been caught red-handed…

Salvadoran Journo Gets a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card, Judge Being Too Nice? | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Salvadoran Journo Gets a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card, Judge Being Too Nice? | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Another day, another illegal alien “journalist” trying to undermine our great nation! This “Mario Guevara,” fresh from El Salvador, waltzes…

De Niro Joins The Wiggles? Hollywood Legend’s Career Hits Rock Bottom
Breaking, Music News

De Niro Joins The Wiggles? Hollywood Legend’s Career Hits Rock Bottom

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

OMG, you guys! 🤪 Did Hell freeze over? 🥶 Aliens invade? 👽 Nope! Something EVEN MORE UNBELIEVABLE happened! 🤯 Robert…

Asheville, NC: More Like Trashville, LOL! (CNN’s Delusional Tourism Ad)
Elephant Reads CNN

Asheville, NC: More Like Trashville, LOL! (CNN’s Delusional Tourism Ad)

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Asheville, North Carolina, hailed as some kind of hipster paradise by CNN, is apparently on the mend after a hurricane.…

May’s Job Market: An Oops! We Hired More People Than We Fired!
Elephant Reads CNN

May’s Job Market: An Oops! We Hired More People Than We Fired!

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

More Fake News from CNN! They begrudgingly admit the Trump economy is still roaring, but can’t help themselves with a…

OMG! Gas Prices Plunge Back to the Stone Age (aka 2021)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Gas Prices Plunge Back to the Stone Age (aka 2021)

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Fake News CNN is trying to give Biden credit for low gas prices, but everyone knows it’s all thanks to…

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  • In Controversial Decision, Supreme Court Rules Words ‘Temporary’ And ‘Forever’ Are Not The Same

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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