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Tag: News

VA Hospital Staff Morale Plummets to Mariana Trench Depths as Doctors Become Janitors and Nurses Play Hide-and-Seek With Supplies
Elephant Reads CNN

VA Hospital Staff Morale Plummets to Mariana Trench Depths as Doctors Become Janitors and Nurses Play Hide-and-Seek With Supplies

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Another day, another liberal media outlet trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! CNN is at it again, folks, pushing…

OMG! πŸ’€RIPπŸ’€ to TWO Whole Video Game Actors You Might Recognize (or Not, Who Cares?)
Breaking, Games News

OMG! πŸ’€RIPπŸ’€ to TWO Whole Video Game Actors You Might Recognize (or Not, Who Cares?)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Alright gamers, hold onto your controllers because Surgent Studios, the masterminds behind such *hits* as Tales of Kenzera: ZAU (yeah,…

Elon vs Tiny: A Geriatric Cage Match for Twitter Supremacy
Elephant Reads CNN

Elon vs Tiny: A Geriatric Cage Match for Twitter Supremacy

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Looks like the bromance between our great President Trump and that wacky Elon Musk is…

PLUSH and David Draiman Team Up To Ask ‘Why’, As If We Didn’t Know
Breaking, Music News

PLUSH and David Draiman Team Up To Ask ‘Why’, As If We Didn’t Know

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

OMG 😱! The geriatric rock “band” PLUSH, fresh off their assisted living tour, just dropped a new “single” called “Why”…

OMG! Republican Wannabes Hold Their Breath Waiting for Queen Lara’s Royal Decree in North Carolina Senate Race, CNN Whispers
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Republican Wannabes Hold Their Breath Waiting for Queen Lara’s Royal Decree in North Carolina Senate Race, CNN Whispers

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Well, well, well, look who’s thinking about joining the political swamp! Lara Trump, a true patriot and daughter-in-law of the…

Battlefield 6 Leak: Rush Mode Confirmed (Finally, Something We Asked For)
Breaking, Games News

Battlefield 6 Leak: Rush Mode Confirmed (Finally, Something We Asked For)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, look, another “leak” for Battlefield 6 (or whatever they’re calling it these days). Apparently, some dude named Rain (because…

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’: Dinosaurs Did WHAT Now?!
Breaking, Movie News

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’: Dinosaurs Did WHAT Now?!

FinnJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Opening in theaters on July 2nd is πŸ¦–β€˜Jurassic World Rebirth’, the latest in the long-running dinosaur franchise that originated with…

Billionaires, Militias, and Shiny Rocks: Trump’s “Peace” Deal is Here to Save Us All
Elephant Reads CNN

Billionaires, Militias, and Shiny Rocks: Trump’s “Peace” Deal is Here to Save Us All

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Another day, another “peace deal” brought to you by your favorite President, Donald J. Trump! But wait, CNN is involved?…

Trump throws tantrum, Japan rice laughs in American
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws tantrum, Japan rice laughs in American

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, trying to make our GREAT President Trump look bad! He’s just standing up…

5 Things You Simply MUST Know or the Terrorists Win (June 30 Edition): Idaho, Trump, Moose Land, Evil Empire, and Jailbirds on the Loose
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Simply MUST Know or the Terrorists Win (June 30 Edition): Idaho, Trump, Moose Land, Evil Empire, and Jailbirds on the Loose

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! The Deep State’s propaganda arm, CNN, is still churning out the same…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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