Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: News

Genshin Impact thinks we’re all toddlers raiding mommy’s credit card now, slapping on age verification like it’ll stop us from pulling for that sweet, sweet Ganyu 💳👶😂
Breaking

Genshin Impact thinks we’re all toddlers raiding mommy’s credit card now, slapping on age verification like it’ll stop us from pulling for that sweet, sweet Ganyu 💳👶😂

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 11, 2025May 11, 2025

OMG! 🚨 The Man is trying to keep us down, fellow Genshin Impact addicts! Apparently, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC),…

OMG! PAX East 2025 gonna unleash MORE wallet-draining cardboard crack with Final Fantasy MTG cards and ✨art✨ that’ll make you question all your life choices 🤪
Breaking

OMG! PAX East 2025 gonna unleash MORE wallet-draining cardboard crack with Final Fantasy MTG cards and ✨art✨ that’ll make you question all your life choices 🤪

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups! Wizards of the Coast, those lovable enablers of cardboard crack addiction, decided to team up with…

Oh great, another director for the X-Men? 🙄 Prepare for more of the same, folks! 🍿🎬
Breaking

Oh great, another director for the X-Men? 🙄 Prepare for more of the same, folks! 🍿🎬

FinnMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 You guys will NOT believe this “news”! Apparently, Disney, in their infinite wisdom (or lack thereof 🤔), is…

Oh honey, Scissor Sisters are dusting off their old wigs and bedazzling their platform boots for a 20th anniversary cash grab of their debut album 💅💿💰!
Breaking

Oh honey, Scissor Sisters are dusting off their old wigs and bedazzling their platform boots for a 20th anniversary cash grab of their debut album 💅💿💰!

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 Can you believe it? It’s been a whole TWO DECADES since the Scissor Sisters graced (or, depending on…

Souheila Yacoub to star in ‘Evil Dead Burn,’ because apparently screaming at demons wasn’t traumatizing enough the first time 😈🔥
Breaking

Souheila Yacoub to star in ‘Evil Dead Burn,’ because apparently screaming at demons wasn’t traumatizing enough the first time 😈🔥

FinnMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

So, apparently, Hollywood hasn’t run out of ideas yet! They’re digging up the ‘Evil Dead’ franchise again, because, let’s face…

Oh, honey, did they *really* need to resurrect that rusty log truck for “Final Destination: Bloodlines”? 🪵💀😂
Breaking

Oh, honey, did they *really* need to resurrect that rusty log truck for “Final Destination: Bloodlines”? 🪵💀😂

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because Warner Bros. Pictures Canada is apparently REALLY trying to give us all heart attacks. With…

Oh no, Killing Floor 3 got delayed and the community whined, so now it’s dropping on July 24th – get ready for more Zeds and disappointment! 🤡🎉🧟
Breaking

Oh no, Killing Floor 3 got delayed and the community whined, so now it’s dropping on July 24th – get ready for more Zeds and disappointment! 🤡🎉🧟

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 Tripwire Interactive, those lovable trolls, have finally decided when they’re unleashing *Killing Floor 3* upon us mere mortals!…

Oh great, more celebrities desperately trying to stay relevant at Game Con Canada 2025 🙄🎮💸
Breaking

Oh great, more celebrities desperately trying to stay relevant at Game Con Canada 2025 🙄🎮💸

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

Alright, gamers, hold onto your Mountain Dew-soaked hats because Game Con Canada is BACK! 🎉 And guess what? They’ve managed…

Oh great, another isekai 🙄, Crunchyroll’s blessing us with “Onmyo Kaiten Re:Birth Verse” so we can all pretend we’re not tired of the same recycled plot 😴 on July 2nd
Breaking

Oh great, another isekai 🙄, Crunchyroll’s blessing us with “Onmyo Kaiten Re:Birth Verse” so we can all pretend we’re not tired of the same recycled plot 😴 on July 2nd

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG, Crunchyroll is blessing us with ANOTHER isekai! 🙄 This time it’s called *Onmyo Kaiten Re:Birth Verse* – try saying…

World of Tanks Dressed Up as Vikings Again, Probably to Sell More Loot Boxes 🙄⚔️💰
Breaking

World of Tanks Dressed Up as Vikings Again, Probably to Sell More Loot Boxes 🙄⚔️💰

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 8, 2025May 8, 2025

Oh, great, just what the world needed: more tanks. But wait, hold your horses (or should I say, tanks?)! Wargaming…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 305 306 307 … 311 Next

Latest posts

  • US Stocks Up on Cheap Yen Like It’s Black Friday
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 3 2026
  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Lita Ford somehow still alive and making music again

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.