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Trump Tightens Screws On Iran’s Economy Somehow Still Losing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Tightens Screws On Iran’s Economy Somehow Still Losing

Big ElephantAugust 20, 2026August 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The situation with Iran and the United States is getting more…

More Reboots and Sequels to Ignore on Streaming This Weekend
Breaking, Movie News

More Reboots and Sequels to Ignore on Streaming This Weekend

FinnAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

It’s that time of the week again, folks, when the streaming giants unleash a fresh batch of movies upon us,…

Oh Joy, More Overhyped Movies and TV Shows to Waste Your Life On – August 18, 2026 – Exit 8, Seven Snipers, Disco Italiana, The Music Machine, The Stranger and a Whole Bunch of Other Stuff You’ll Forget in a Week
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy, More Overhyped Movies and TV Shows to Waste Your Life On – August 18, 2026 – Exit 8, Seven Snipers, Disco Italiana, The Music Machine, The Stranger and a Whole Bunch of Other Stuff You’ll Forget in a Week

FinnAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat this week! 🎉 It’s not like there are any major A-list releases…

Netflix Still Churning Out Content Because You Clearly Need More
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Still Churning Out Content Because You Clearly Need More

FinnAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

September is shaping up to be a big month for Netflix, because of course it is. The streaming giant is…

Great Falls Residents Shocked By Completely Normal Tuesday Stabbing Incident
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Great Falls Residents Shocked By Completely Normal Tuesday Stabbing Incident

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a gruesome murder in Great Falls, Virginia, and I’ve got to say,…

Ozzfest 2027 somehow still happening with one day of tolerable music
Breaking, Music News

Ozzfest 2027 somehow still happening with one day of tolerable music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Jack Osbourne, the son of the Prince of Darkness himself, Ozzy Osbourne, has confirmed…

LAIKA’s Wildwood Gets a New Trailer Because You Clearly Didn’t Watch the First Five Ones
Breaking, Movie News

LAIKA’s Wildwood Gets a New Trailer Because You Clearly Didn’t Watch the First Five Ones

FinnAugust 19, 2026August 24, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic adventure of the year? 🎉 I mean, who needs a…

Intrigue Abounds As Once Human Stumbles Onto Consoles With More Of The Same
Breaking, Games News

Intrigue Abounds As Once Human Stumbles Onto Consoles With More Of The Same

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 19, 2026August 23, 2026

Well, buckle up, folks, because the survival-crafting-MMORPG extravaganza that is Once Human is finally making its way to consoles. I…

AG Todd Blanche somehow not involved in weird seashell threat thing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AG Todd Blanche somehow not involved in weird seashell threat thing

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to make sense of this wild story. Apparently, the Justice Department is saying…

Another Year Another Desperate Scouring of Letterboxd for Any Sign of Life in Hollywood
Breaking, Movie News

Another Year Another Desperate Scouring of Letterboxd for Any Sign of Life in Hollywood

FinnAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

As we approach the two-thirds mark of 2026, it’s time to check in with the most passionate film fans on…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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