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Tag: Ride

Trump Remembers Stuff That Never Actually Occurred Again Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Remembers Stuff That Never Actually Occurred Again Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 26, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest remarks, and I have to say, it’s a…

Graham Proudly Claims War Mongering As Greatest Achievement
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Graham Proudly Claims War Mongering As Greatest Achievement

Big ElephantJuly 26, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the latest documentary footage featuring the late Sen. Lindsey Graham, and I…

Marvel Recycles Another Franchise with Ryan Gosling in Ghost Rider Reboot
Breaking, Movie News

Marvel Recycles Another Franchise with Ryan Gosling in Ghost Rider Reboot

FinnJuly 26, 2026July 26, 2026

Marvel’s latest attempt to resuscitate a dormant franchise has born fruit, as Ryan Gosling is set to star in a…

Lindsay Clancy Trial Begins With Mother Accused of Unthinkable Tragedy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lindsay Clancy Trial Begins With Mother Accused of Unthinkable Tragedy

Big ElephantJuly 26, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The trial of Lindsay Clancy, the Massachusetts mother accused of murdering…

Vandenbergs 50th Anniversary Album Will Definitely Not Be A Cash Grab
Breaking, Music News

Vandenbergs 50th Anniversary Album Will Definitely Not Be A Cash Grab

Chord F. DiscordJuly 26, 2026July 26, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some epic news? 🤩 Adrian Vandenberg, the legendary guitarist of WHITESNAKE, is planning to…

Oh Joy Train to Busan is Back to Haunt Your Dreams and Remind You the Apocalypse is Still Coming for Us All in Glorious Cinematic Fashion to Celebrate 10 Whole Years of Existential Dread
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Train to Busan is Back to Haunt Your Dreams and Remind You the Apocalypse is Still Coming for Us All in Glorious Cinematic Fashion to Celebrate 10 Whole Years of Existential Dread

FinnJuly 25, 2026July 26, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? 🎉🍿 I mean, who doesn’t love a good zombie apocalypse…

Mastodon finally makes album that will slightly satisfy existing fans
Breaking, Music News

Mastodon finally makes album that will slightly satisfy existing fans

Chord F. DiscordJuly 25, 2026July 25, 2026

Okay, so MASTODON is back with a new album, “Marrow Deep”, and it’s not like we’ve been waiting for five…

Jason Statham’s Mutiny Poster Has Clearly Never Heard of Originality and is Just Copying Die Hard Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs New Ideas Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

Jason Statham’s Mutiny Poster Has Clearly Never Heard of Originality and is Just Copying Die Hard Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs New Ideas Anyway

FinnJuly 25, 2026July 25, 2026

The Stath is back, and this time he’s on a boat, because why not? 🚣‍♂️ I mean, who needs a…

Addict Turned Patriot Still Manages To Pay Bills On Time Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Addict Turned Patriot Still Manages To Pay Bills On Time Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Ian Pfister, a self-proclaimed First Amendment auditor, is making a name…

Loomer Falls For Ukraine After Russian Fake News Fail
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Loomer Falls For Ukraine After Russian Fake News Fail

Big ElephantJuly 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Laura Loomer, a far-right figure and avid supporter of President Donald…

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Latest posts

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  • Kamala Harris Proposes Supreme Court Expansion Because 9 Justices Not Enough

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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