Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: RIP

Witness the trainwreck: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck star in Joe Carnahan’s cinematic abortion, The Rip
Breaking, Movie News

Witness the trainwreck: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck star in Joe Carnahan’s cinematic abortion, The Rip

FinnSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Ben Affleck and Matt Damon! 🎉 Back again, huh? This time they’ve teamed up with Joe Carnahan…

Tom Keifer (Cinderella) Admits To Ripping Off Randy Rhoads’ Licks
Breaking, Music News

Tom Keifer (Cinderella) Admits To Ripping Off Randy Rhoads’ Licks

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 8, 2025September 8, 2025

In a groundbreaking 🙄 new interview with 96.9 The Eagle KKGL, CINDERELLA frontman Tom Keifer, the unsung hero of hair…

Wake Up Dead Man: Another Knives Out? Ugh, Fine, Here’s a Teaser
Breaking, Movie News

Wake Up Dead Man: Another Knives Out? Ugh, Fine, Here’s a Teaser

FinnSeptember 8, 2025September 8, 2025

Oh great, Daniel Craig is back as Benoit Blanc, the detective with the world’s most ridiculous accent, in Wake Up…

“The Flying Ace”: More Like The Flying Dud, Am I Right
Live

“The Flying Ace”: More Like The Flying Dud, Am I Right

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 8, 2025

OMG! 🙄 A WWI pilot goes back to being a RAILROAD detective! 🚂💨 He’s gotta find $25,000 and a missing…

ProgPower USA 2026: These Bands Are So Old, They Make Dinosaurs Look Like Fresh-Faced Teenagers
Live, Music News

ProgPower USA 2026: These Bands Are So Old, They Make Dinosaurs Look Like Fresh-Faced Teenagers

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

ENSIFERUM, ELUVEITIE, CONCEPTION, EVERGREY, NEVERMORE (wait, what year is it?!), HAMMERFALL (because who doesn’t love a good hammer?), CRIMSON GLORY…

Arco: Prepare to Have Your Brain Gently Fried by This Animated Sci-Fi Fantasy Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Arco: Prepare to Have Your Brain Gently Fried by This Animated Sci-Fi Fantasy Trailer

FinnSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

Get ready for a cinematic masterpiece… or not! Arco, the latest animated flick, promises a wondrous, hope-filled, optimistic future. Made…

SNOT Aims to Drop New Full-Length Album in 2026: Because Apparently, the World Needs More ‘Funky Punk Attitude’
Breaking, Music News

SNOT Aims to Drop New Full-Length Album in 2026: Because Apparently, the World Needs More ‘Funky Punk Attitude’

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Ore Bihovsky from TotalRock’s riveting “Louder” radio show, SNOT guitarist and resident genius Mikey Doling…

Brent Hinds’ Untimely Departure: Atlanta’s Music Scene Weeps (Or Maybe Just Has Allergies)
Breaking, Music News

Brent Hinds’ Untimely Departure: Atlanta’s Music Scene Weeps (Or Maybe Just Has Allergies)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Atlanta News First, purveyors of the finest clickbait, have graced us with a video report on the totally unexpected demise…

ROG Xbox Ally and ROG Xbox Ally X Finally Crawling Out of the Void at Gamescom 2025
Breaking, Games News

ROG Xbox Ally and ROG Xbox Ally X Finally Crawling Out of the Void at Gamescom 2025

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

Oh, Gamescom 2025, you tease! 🙄 ASUS, in their infinite wisdom (or maybe just because they felt like it), decided…

Texas Dems Throw Epic Tantrum: Demand Police Escort Back to Work After Hissy Fit
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Dems Throw Epic Tantrum: Demand Police Escort Back to Work After Hissy Fit

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Texas Democrats, still whining about President Trump’s glorious redistricting plan, are staging another one of…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 10 11 12 … 17 Next

Latest posts

  • US Stocks Up on Cheap Yen Like It’s Black Friday
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 3 2026
  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Lita Ford somehow still alive and making music again

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.