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Tag: science

Monster High Abomination Doll Is An Intergalactic Eyesore
Breaking, Movie News

Monster High Abomination Doll Is An Intergalactic Eyesore

FinnOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

🤣OMG!😱 Mattel, the geniuses behind Barbie (and other plastic crack for your kids), have decided that the Xenomorph, that cute…

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime
Breaking, Music News

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Well, well, well, what have we here? 🤪 On September 26, prepare yourselves for the auditory equivalent of decaf coffee:…

Evanescence Finally Sorta Close to Maybe Finishing New Album, No Seriously This Time
Breaking, Music News

Evanescence Finally Sorta Close to Maybe Finishing New Album, No Seriously This Time

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 23, 2025September 23, 2025

So, at the Louder Than Life festival in Kentucky (where dreams go to die 😂), Amy Lee of EVANESCENCE 🥀,…

‘Avengers: Doomsday’: More Spoilers Than You Can Shake a Stick At
Breaking, Movie News

‘Avengers: Doomsday’: More Spoilers Than You Can Shake a Stick At

FinnSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

OMG! 😱 Marvel just dropped the lamest plot synopsis EVER for Avengers: Doomsday. Are you ready for this earth-shattering revelation?…

Bill Cassidy and RFK Jr’s bromance: About to go down in flames
Elephant Reads CNN

Bill Cassidy and RFK Jr’s bromance: About to go down in flames

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! Senator Cassidy, bless his heart, thought he could buddy up with RFK…

Octopus Arm Preference: Turns Out They’re Just as Picky as Us Humans
Elephant Reads CNN

Octopus Arm Preference: Turns Out They’re Just as Picky as Us Humans

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Folks, can you believe what the liberal media is pushing now? Octopus arms having preferences? It’s just another attempt to…

Gilgo Beach Suspect’s DNA Gets a High-Tech Makeover (Thanks, Science)
Elephant Reads CNN

Gilgo Beach Suspect’s DNA Gets a High-Tech Makeover (Thanks, Science)

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Another win for justice and sound science, folks! This judge isn’t falling for the Deep State’s attempts to muddy the…

CNN: Trump’s October Surprise – Will Democrats Ever Find Their Way Out of the Woods
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s October Surprise – Will Democrats Ever Find Their Way Out of the Woods

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another leftist media meltdown over our glorious President Trump! CNN is hyperventilating about Trump supposedly “flexing…

Big Pharma Puppet Gets Crown: CDC’s New Boss Involved in Vaccine Strong-Arm Tactics
Elephant Reads CNN

Big Pharma Puppet Gets Crown: CDC’s New Boss Involved in Vaccine Strong-Arm Tactics

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The liberal media, CNN no less, is whining about President Trump’s administration daring to shake…

Behold! THE GATHERING Milks ‘Mandylion’ for 30th Anniversary Bucks in Dull Dutch Town
Breaking, Music News

Behold! THE GATHERING Milks ‘Mandylion’ for 30th Anniversary Bucks in Dull Dutch Town

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Ok, boomer, listen up! 👴 Your favorite Dutch rockers THE GATHERING—yes, the ones your dad listened to—are back with the…

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Latest posts

  • Lea Michele Shows Off Ability To Make Co-Star Cry On Command
  • Fake news saying Trump can’t spin Iran deal as huge win somehow
  • Vance blasts Iran deal with rightful American skepticism and distrust always
  • Liberal incompetence ruins Reflecting Pool with dumb renovation fail again
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Fail of the Week Freaky Friday Challenge Is Back

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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