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‘Doc’ Antle Gets a Year-Long Spa Day (In Prison) for Animal Shenanigans, Because Apparently Tigers Don’t Like Being Luggage | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Doc’ Antle Gets a Year-Long Spa Day (In Prison) for Animal Shenanigans, Because Apparently Tigers Don’t Like Being Luggage | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Another day, another so-called “star” from that godforsaken “Tiger King” show getting what they deserve. Bhagavan “Doc” Antle, probably a…

Nicki Minaj Roasts Old Men and Horses
Breaking, Music News

Nicki Minaj Roasts Old Men and Horses

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

OMG! 🚨 Nicki Minaj, Queen of Shade and Petty Supremacy, Just Decided to Roast Jay-Z and Megan Thee Stallion Like…

OMG! Yōtei’s Ghostly Shenanigans: A State of Play So Bad It’s Actually Happening on July 10 (Prepare to Cringe)
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Yōtei’s Ghostly Shenanigans: A State of Play So Bad It’s Actually Happening on July 10 (Prepare to Cringe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🥳 Sucker Punch Productions, the geniuses behind that *totally* original samurai game, are gracing…

Dead by Daylight Summons Geriatric Zombie Killers: Rick, Michonne, and Daryl Shuffle Uneasily into The Fog
Breaking, Games News

Dead by Daylight Summons Geriatric Zombie Killers: Rick, Michonne, and Daryl Shuffle Uneasily into The Fog

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh, great, more content for Dead by Daylight. As if we needed more reasons to get camped in the basement.…

Marvel’s ‘Wonder Man’: More Like ‘Blunder Man,’ Am I Right
Breaking, Movie News

Marvel’s ‘Wonder Man’: More Like ‘Blunder Man,’ Am I Right

FinnJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh boy, buckle up buttercups 🪑, because Marvel’s dredging up another hero from the depths of comic book obscurity! Wonder…

Zohran Mamdani’s Rivals Fail to Form a Voltron of Suck in NYC Mayoral Clown Show
Elephant Reads CNN

Zohran Mamdani’s Rivals Fail to Form a Voltron of Suck in NYC Mayoral Clown Show

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, the hilarity never ends in the Socialist Republic of New York! It seems that after being utterly humiliated by…

Devourment feat. Ricky Myers (Suffocation) in Charlotte, NC (07/06/2025)
Videos

Devourment feat. Ricky Myers (Suffocation) in Charlotte, NC (07/06/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 7, 2025

True Legends! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a…

‘Superman’ Broadway Musical: More Like ‘SuperFAIL’
Breaking, Movie News

‘Superman’ Broadway Musical: More Like ‘SuperFAIL’

FinnJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Behold! The most cringe-worthy, face-palming, “what were they thinking?” piece of superhero media ever to disgrace the silver screen… or…

Carnifex Blew Up Charlotte 💀| w/ Suffocation, Devourment, Distant & Bodybox🔥
Videos

Carnifex Blew Up Charlotte 💀| w/ Suffocation, Devourment, Distant & Bodybox🔥

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 7, 2025

On July 6, Carnifex brought hell to The Fillmore Charlotte on their Hell Chose Me 15-Year Anniversary Tour 🔥 Joined…

Randy Blythe of LAMB OF GOD Thinks His Day Was, Like, Totally Unbelievable, Man
Breaking, Music News

Randy Blythe of LAMB OF GOD Thinks His Day Was, Like, Totally Unbelievable, Man

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

So, LAMB OF GOD, bless their little metal hearts, got to play at Ozzy Osbourne’s “farewell” (yeah, right, we’ve heard…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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