Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Social Media

Spider-Man’s New Duds: Tom Holland’s Got a Freshly-Squeezed Suit!
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man’s New Duds: Tom Holland’s Got a Freshly-Squeezed Suit!

FinnAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Are you READY for a Brand New Day? 🙄 Or, like, another Spider-Man costume that’s totally gonna revolutionize the cinematic…

Atlanta’s ‘Beltline Kevin’: More Famous Than Your Mom
Elephant Reads CNN

Atlanta’s ‘Beltline Kevin’: More Famous Than Your Mom

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

Oh, goodie, another puff piece from CNN! This time, they’re fawning over some rollerblading, singing weirdo in Atlanta. You just…

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL
Breaking, Music News

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😲 The world-renowned vocal powerhouse, Celine Dion, has finally acknowledged the existence of Ozzy Osbourne, you know, that bat-chomping…

METALLICA Planning To Annoy Las Vegas With Extended Residency, Sources Say
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA Planning To Annoy Las Vegas With Extended Residency, Sources Say

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

According to Vital Vegas, METALLICA, those geriatric thrashers, are “ready to ink a deal for a Sphere residency” in Las…

Geezer Butler Says Ozzy’s Two-Week Post-Show Disappearance Was Totally Expected (Not!)
Breaking, Music News

Geezer Butler Says Ozzy’s Two-Week Post-Show Disappearance Was Totally Expected (Not!)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Geezer Butler, the only reason BLACK SABBATH had any semblance of lyrical coherence (allegedly), has graced us with his profound…

“Oh No, Not the Tea App Drama Again”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Oh No, Not the Tea App Drama Again”

Big ElephantJuly 26, 2025July 26, 2025

Another day, another leftist scheme to undermine the American male! This “Tea Dating Advice” app is just the latest iteration…

Deftones Announce 2025 Edition Of ‘Dia De Los Deftones’ Festival (aka the only day Deftones fans get sunlight)
Live, Music News

Deftones Announce 2025 Edition Of ‘Dia De Los Deftones’ Festival (aka the only day Deftones fans get sunlight)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

DEFTONES, the band that peaked in 2000 but refuses to accept it, have announced yet another installment of their vanity…

BIOHAZARD Drops ‘Divided We Fall’ Album and a Totally Unexpected ‘F*** The System’ Anthem
Breaking, Music News

BIOHAZARD Drops ‘Divided We Fall’ Album and a Totally Unexpected ‘F*** The System’ Anthem

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric delinquents of BIOHAZARD are back with “Divided We Fall”, their first “studio album” (air quotes because…

Phil Fasciana’s Lungs Declare War on Malevolent Creation (Pneumonia Strikes Back)!
Breaking, Music News

Phil Fasciana’s Lungs Declare War on Malevolent Creation (Pneumonia Strikes Back)!

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 Guitarist 🎸 Phil Fasciana of those geriatric Florida 🐊 death metallers 💀 MALEVOLENT CREATION (still around? 😂) has…

Chris Barnes Claims New SIX FEET UNDER Album Will Be Good (Press X to Doubt)
Breaking, Music News

Chris Barnes Claims New SIX FEET UNDER Album Will Be Good (Press X to Doubt)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Chris Barnes, the vocal… well, he vocalizes for those death metal dinosaurs SIX FEET…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 37 38 39 40 Next

Latest posts

  • Rip Current Interrupted By Unscheduled Act Of Heroism
  • Nevada Governor Declares Emergency Because Hawk Fire Refuses to Chill
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: DJT blasts Canada over tariffs and statehood demands
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Mark Levin claims blue states are sabotaging citizens nationwide
  • Karmelo Anthony Not Getting Do-Over In Murder Case

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.