Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: toys

Woody and Buzz Return in Toy Story 5: Prepare for More Existential Dread and Plastic Mayhem
Breaking, Movie News

Woody and Buzz Return in Toy Story 5: Prepare for More Existential Dread and Plastic Mayhem

FinnNovember 11, 2025November 11, 2025

Woody and Buzz, those dusty relics of childhood, are back for Toy Story 5, because apparently, Pixar ran out of…

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused
Breaking, Music News

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

So, like, AEROSMITH, those dudes who haven’t been relevant since your grandpa’s dentures were shiny and new, and Yungblud, who…

JEFF WATERS (Annihilator) is Officially Broke: Selling EVERYTHING but His Soul
Breaking, Music News

JEFF WATERS (Annihilator) is Officially Broke: Selling EVERYTHING but His Soul

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

ANNIHILATOR‘s supreme overlord, Jeff Waters, bless his little cotton socks, has decided that the UK is no longer worthy of…

Trump throws toys out of pram, axes Colombia’s allowance like a toddler
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws toys out of pram, axes Colombia’s allowance like a toddler

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Looks like President Trump is finally fed up with Colombia’s President Petro and his socialist games! Petro, with his “holier…

Judge Demands DOJ Give Back Chicago’s Toys After Border Patrol Shooting Car Crash Kerfuffle
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Demands DOJ Give Back Chicago’s Toys After Border Patrol Shooting Car Crash Kerfuffle

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another Soros-funded “protest” gone wrong! This Marimar Martinez, probably a card-carrying member of the DSA, claims she was…

Monster High Abomination Doll Is An Intergalactic Eyesore
Breaking, Movie News

Monster High Abomination Doll Is An Intergalactic Eyesore

FinnOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

🤣OMG!😱 Mattel, the geniuses behind Barbie (and other plastic crack for your kids), have decided that the Xenomorph, that cute…

Witness Channing Tatum, Kirsten Dunst, LaKeith Stanfield, and a Bunch of Other Overpaid Actors Pretending to Be Roof People in This Ridiculous “Roofman” Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Witness Channing Tatum, Kirsten Dunst, LaKeith Stanfield, and a Bunch of Other Overpaid Actors Pretending to Be Roof People in This Ridiculous “Roofman” Trailer

FinnOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

Okay, folks, buckle up because Hollywood is about to bless us with “Roofman,” a cinematic masterpiece – or at least…

Gameacon: Where Gamers and Coachella Meet (and Probably Regret It)
Live

Gameacon: Where Gamers and Coachella Meet (and Probably Regret It)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 6, 2025

**GameAcon Coachella Valley 2025!** 🤡 Oct 11–12, The Shops at Palm Desert. Prepare for mega cringe! Cosplay contests🎭, celeb guests🎤…

Boardwalk Comic Con 2025: Prepare for Disappointment
Live

Boardwalk Comic Con 2025: Prepare for Disappointment

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 29, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Boardwalk Comic Con 2025 at Myrtle Beach Convention Center is THE place to be! 🏖️ Comics, toys, cosplay…

Ghost’s ‘Skeletour’ with PRG: Prepare for a Behind-the-Crypt Look (as if you care)
Breaking, Music News

Ghost’s ‘Skeletour’ with PRG: Prepare for a Behind-the-Crypt Look (as if you care)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

So, GHOST went on tour, called the “Skeletour”. You know, because calling it the “We Need More Money Tour” was…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11 2026
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 11 2026
  • Uh Oh: Mamdani’s New NYC Map Includes ‘Little Auschwitz’ In Brooklyn
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11, 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}